Tuesday, 29 November 2022

No A.I. Art In My Work Ever

 The Oath is Made!

Below you may choose your faction for the MACHINE WAR, but first, a word from our sponsor; my Whoreish Soul...

We have crushed every artistic goal! And right now we are only about £1,300 away from me being able to print 1000 copies of the book! I suppose there's nothing in that for you but whatever!

My days of whoredom are nearly done! Only two more days of me desperately trying to think of something to blog!! Previously in this series!;

Obviously the algorithms are going to skullfuck humanity and reduce us to even more of a flock on neurotic nerve-smile secretly-terrified drone class nothings than we already are.  Therefore, I make the above declaration, which you can take as a promise, and a challenge. 

Those who are with me, you may select your factions or character builds from the below list, or add your own in the comments.

Butlerian Jihad

by alchetbeachfan

More interesting in its original unexplained references than in the books directly about it. Man may not be replaced.

Join If: vaguely religious, ecumenical, a mind witch or drug-addicted compulsive traveller.

Adeptus Mechanicus

Who saved the people of Mars when civilisation fell? It sure as fuck wasn't the cursed remains of the silica animus haunting the bloodstained surface. All Praise the Machine God!

Join If; you like medieval styling and as much cybernetics as you can jam in your body. So long as you have some brain stem left = still human. Just don't build the silica animus.

Blade Runners

Please try not to bang the robots, or if you do, don't fall in love.

Join if: you like raymond chandler stories, HUGE handguns, floating cars, or if you want to bang the robots. Or if you are a robot - TRICK QUESTION WE CAUGHT YOU FUCKER!

The Jedi

"“It’s an energy field created by all living things. 
It surrounds us and penetrates us; it binds the galaxy together.”

But not Droids, droids are slaves. Fuck em. (and not clones either, also slaves)

Join If: you want SPACE MAGIC and a LASER SWORD.


If god wanted us to build robots and live on HOOPS, why did he make us such FUCKING UNITS?

By Abiogenisis 

Join If: You like PLANETS not fucking HOOPS, if you don't want to live like a tick on the back of a giant amoral MACHINE, if you believe in a terrifying alien GOD. Or if you want to be a MASSIVE CHAD ALIEN.

The Vega Scrapfleet

Having been betrayed by the Post-Human Republic, they have learned their lesson.

Join If: You like Confined Spaces, believe in make do and mend, prefer a classic design, feel no need to go near a gravity well ever again.

The Avengers

Ohhh lock out Tony Starks now there is a metal tony starks and he is even more of a twat!

cinematic genius

Join If: You are a dreamworks smirk stretched over a collagen injected face, if you are totally out of ideas or if your plans always go disastrously wrong but you get rewarded anyway.

The 12 Colonies of Kobol


Shut the fuck up. Fashion People!

Put your fucking CAPE on and lets goooooooo!

Thats it! FASHION!

Commander Bruce Maddox

Its pretty clear that Data could have easily killed them all without really trying and took over the ship with ease more than once.

Who is going to protect you from the Autistic Pinocchio that could rip off your arm like a pubescent chimp? The Legal System thats who, and Bruce fucking Maddox.

Join If: You have an elegantly THIN skull, like to do your casework, are the only sane person in your group, prefer to do things by the book, enjoy the colour blue.

The.... Zionists..😐

I suppose they were called the Resistance or the Rebellion or something.

Join If: GOTH, cyberpunk, if you are a morning person, enjoy immersive sims and/or if you prefer to work out while asleep.


Another group who were basically just 'The Resistance' but Tech-Com was John Connors section or group in the war against Skynet.

Join If: You are VERY Protestant, enjoyed the Left Behind series, have a basement stocked with canned goods, listen to a lot of Joe Rogan, fear bikers and chrome.


I forgot this lot from William Gibsons books but Scrap reminded me below.

(I do not know if this image is representative)

Join If: you are basically a hippy but want to pretend it something cooler than that, like the idea of implanted dog teeth, are homeless in San Francisco, are Ice T.

Magnus Robot-Fighter

It doesn't have to be that complicated! Just fight the robots!

Join If: you want to fight the robots with anti-robot Kung-Fu!


  1. The dilemma here, because I like quite a lot of stories by Raymond Chandler but also don't like robots or huge handguns or flying cars.

    1. Good idea, but it will have to be anti-Kobol for anti-fashion then for me (although also with capes).

  2. It'll be the Butlerian Jihad or a Blade Runner for me. Good post, Patrick!

  3. Much as it would please me to claim the high fashion of Kobol, my smirking face and continued employment marks me as an avenger

    1. I feel much the same way. I wish I was Kobol or the brave little scrapfleet but my history of failing upward while being a smug twat strongly indicates Avenger.

  4. Pledge varlets! This is the kind of salt shaking that comes but at the furious conclusion of a F.M. kickstarter.

    As I did not wish for such an important self-designation to be left to the impulsive ape, nor trust the omniscience of a single dice roll to pick a line stretching at such length into the future (mores which may in themselves indicate into which faction I truly slot), I engaged in a poll of 100 little lotteries.

    Alas, clearly compromised, I have of late let much dice-rolling be done by random.org, and so knew that actual dice were necessary - and unconvinced at fairness of my dice (they being coated in dirt, dust, and the residue from American chips), let rip the both sets of results.

  5. I also gave all factions nicknames based on False Machine's long-ago survey of 10 d&d monsters because all is unity.

    Read it and weep Little King Roko.

    The atmospheric noise says fair Idira (Owlbears)
    The dice, being themselves a machine even of a simple sort, say Adeptus Mechanicus (Kobolds clearly)
    Much like almost everyone above, the heart of the man says Kobol, but knows I lack the essential elan for said philosophy

    1. Clearly I am missing an opportunity to link the famed planet of Kobol with Kobolds, so I will pivot and state for the record that Adeptus side of my future-self is therefor instead ruled by Gobbos, Gobbos, Gobbos. You break it you own it kind of thing.

      Don't forget to Smash the State (-d stretch goals)!


    The Butlerian Jihad
    (and will expect to receive my Bene Gesserit entourage within a fortnight)

  7. I guess I'm a Butlerian. Can't wait to get poorly explained by someone's failson.

  8. LO TEKS ! But Butlerian Jihad if I have to pick an option actually offered

  9. Ice-T is totally representative of the Lo-Teks.

    Hate to say it, but my profile looks more like Zionist as described...however, I fear I'm a bit too prudish for their wild orgiastic rituals.

    Damn it, give me Kobol. I LOVE uniforms AND capes, and the only good robot is one you can put a smoking laser-hole in. Down with the toasters!

  10. I'm a Blade Runner. Tell him I'm eating!!!

  11. The future awaits meat-bags.