The Soothsayer Class

 Gazing into balls In a haze of misty weirdness, chuckling through pipe smoke, observing, and sometimes gutting, birds, brewing tea and being vague, do they even have powers at all? They don't look like they do much, yet things seem to go their way....

......

This is an experimental, somewhat conceptual class, based on an idea I had on the blog aaages ago; narrative wizard/old school fighter. A class in an old school bx-commons game where everyone else runs by normal old-school logic but one, a wizard, works via rules and patterns more familiar with what used to be called(?) 'story games'.

Essentially this would make the wizard character a kind of sub, or alter or co-DM for the game, able to introduce elements, shape the course of events, make some events more or less likely, or even certain or impossible.

Their spells, controlled by level and slot as the old Gygaxian master set down affect not the tactical situation, tactically they have the same options as an ordinary human, or a thief without skills, but are meant to interlace with the structure of the story of the game as it evolves. Quite literally changing fate

Some Basic Concepts;

Secrecy

Soothsayers, Haruspex and Fatemasters in general work to keep the nature of their powers secret and obscure. In many cases these powers can lose their effect if their nature is known. In others full knowledge of what they can do creates dangerous moral problems and difficult prophetic feedback effects.

As a general rule, consider this as a possibility; If the Soothsayer can cast the spell without either PCs or NPCs noticing, if takes effect. If anyone directly perceives the spell as a spell, then the targets must save vs spells against it.

Limiters

Soothsayers start off knowing only one method of prediction. Roll randomly below. On each level gained roll again and if the result is already chosen, pick the closet adjacent available.

1. Examining Smoke from your own Pipe

2. Playing a Silver-Wired Guitar.

3. Casting Tarot Cards

4. Observing the flights of birds.

5. Reading the entrails of animals.

6. Reading Tea Leaves.

7. Observing the stars.

8. Reading palms.

Obviously if a Soothsayer can't obsere the stars or light their pipe they can't do their thing, and if they are known to be casting spells or reading fates then they might not work.

LOW-LEVEL SPELLS

(these should be actually useful in low level adventures)

'Recall' the way - the Player can look at the DMs map for ten seconds.

"Seems like Troll country" - Player can look at the current encounter chart for ten seconds.

"You were meant to find it" - cast on a particular PC, the next time they search for a hidden thing that is present, they will find it, they need only look.

"Foolishly left unlocked" the next lock the Soothsayer tries will have been left unlocked.

"Curious Clouds today.." - the Soothsayer examines the clouds. The DM must roll or decide an extreme weather event, and how long it will last and communicate it secretly to the Soothsayer. This event will take place in d6 hours.

"Some suffer dark dreams" - Last night a single named individual whose name the PCs know, suffered painful nightmares in which the lowest-level PC figured strongly. Though they don't remember everything this individual will be troubled and frightened by this PC till they sleep again.

"A Message is on its Way" - For the next encounter. The next potential or actual foe of the PCs will receive a message which will radically change their behaviour. This will take place after 1 minutes of observation or conversation. If a fight breaks out the message will not reach them.

MID-LEVEL SPELLS

(what's the fatemaster equivalent to 'Fireball'?)

"The time is now" - Cast upon the PCs as a whole. When they next encounter an enemy, that enemies morale has already been damaged by previous events unknown to the PCs, in this case if forced to test morale, this foe will break automatically without a roll.

"Not by the hand... of man..." - The Soothsayer prophecies that, before the next dawn, one named individual known to them, shall not die, by one specific physical means. i.e. not by the blade, not by the 'hand of man', not by poison, not by spellcraft'. This prediction becomes true though it refers only to death and not any similar status like mutilation, petrification, madness, etc. The Soothplayer must use the simplest possible descriptor for that physical means. The DM can ask for a more specific wording if the Soothplayer uses "by violence" or something like that.

Unholy Knowledge - Through a foul and disturbing ritual which must not be observed, the  Soothsayer discovers a hidden truth. The Soothplayer can write a single question on a note and pass it to the DM. The DM writes a note back and MUST answer honestly, though they are free to be terse. If the  character OR Soothplayer ever directly or specifically mentions what they have learned from that answer the DM is allowed to change the truth of it. 

"it carries a shared doom" - Can be cast a weapon, arrow, tool etc when 'found'. It cannot be cast on a weapon the party already holds. This weapon is fated to kill a particular, named opponent whom the party has encountered already. IF they fight using this weapon then it will always hit and always wound to the greatest damage possible against this one, singular opponent. However, if lost, dropped, fumbled or in any way turned against the wielder, it will do the same to them.

HIGH LEVEL SPELLS

Their Fate is Set - during the NEXT encounter one named enemy will suffer the maximum damage from any successful attack.

"They shall not prevail" - during the next combat encounter, the enemies of the PCs will not win. If the PCs prevail 'normally', no action need be taken. However, if the PCs are 'losing' this encounter, the DM may intercede to make sure the enemy of the PCs does not "win". The means and method by which they do this are entirely up to the pleasure of the DM.

"Your goal is near" - Is 'cast' upon a single PC with the focus of one single, particular physical goal of that PC. The DM must inform the Soothplayer exactly where it is and what stands between the PC and their goal. The Soothsayer, and Soothplayer, may communicate this to the PC once, verbally, and ONLY in the form of poetic rhyme. If the Soothsayer or Soothplayer communicates the same information in any other way at any time, the DM may change the details referred to.

Prophecy - the Soothsayer makes a Nostrodamus-style prophecy. A prophecy is made up of an object or identity, an action or situation and a result and reads something like; "when the king of crows swims in wine, the mage shall fall". the Soothplayer takes three pieces of paper. They keep one for themselves, give one to the DM and one to another player. The Soothplayer can decide who writes which element, i.e. "I will write the result, you Jack write the object or person and you DM write the action or incident", but they cannot control _what_ each individual writes, and none of them can reveal what they are writing to each other during this process. Each individual then hands back thier slip to the Soothplayer who reveals them. The Soothplayer then may combine each of these elements in a single sentence with no punctuation - this sentence is then TRUE for this campaign until its prophecy is fulfilled.

Old-School Queen Class

This is my attempt at a Queen class for LotFP and other Old School games, based on the Queens in Christine de Pizan's 'City of Ladies'. (It's mainly the crafty, sneaky version, the martial version would be a different thing I think.)

A Queen gains levels like a Thief.

In LotFP a Queen has a 5 in 6 capacity in two unique skills; King-Secreting and Cross Dressing.

King Secretion - If the Queen has her King (see below) with her, she is an expert in secreting or disguising him in almost any conceivable manner or way so long as it is at least vaguely within the bounds of reality. She might dress him as a maid, hide him in a log or carpet or almost anything else.

Cross Dressing - If she has the clothes or materials with her, the Queen can disguise herself as a man with an incredible degree of effectiveness. All the negative effects of her beauty will still be in effect and will now apply equally to both genders though some would-be paramours may be too confused or repressed to immediately act on their feelings.

Though she has no spells, during play she can learn to cast Ritual magic in settings where that is a thing.

Every Queen is Queenly, Feeble and hot.

Queenly
Every Queen comes garbed in the robes of Queendom and is clearly identifiable as a Queen if she wishes to be so. If she acts and speaks in a Queenly way no one reasonable will doubt her status or nature.

Weak and Feeble*
A Queen rolls 2d6+2 for her Strength, she does this regardless of what any other character is rolling, whether male or female.

Beautiful
So long as she is declaring herself as a Queen she never has to roll for high-status treatment from any civilised people. She always has Charisma 18 from simply being royal though for  the precise nature of her beauty, roll a d6;

1. Afflicted.
2-3. Beautiful.
4-5. Superlative.
6. Renowned.

An Afflicted Queen has some minor but strange physical flaw like a second row of teeth or a lazy eye. This is looked on by most people with deep sympathy and the Queen is well thought of for bearing with her affliction. She is treated like a normal person of high status and rolls charisma tests as normal. She is not excessively bothered by mad knights, transformed demigods, pervy wizards or fucking bards.

A Beautiful Queen can test her CHA against large groups like armies & mobs  and against otherwise hostile people, like assassins sent to kill her.

A Superlative Queen can also test her CHA against otherwise automatically-hostile monsters.

A Renowned Queen can also test her CHA against natural forces & divine beings.

Any Queen more beautiful than afflicted cannot fail a Charisma test against a male (and 5% of females), they simply get unwanted effects. If a Queen rolls a fail on a CHA test against a man (or an army, assassin, monster or natural force) then roll on the table below using a die size depending on the Queens beauty level. (With women roll normally and roll below if a 1 is the result or of they are clearly gay.)

Beautiful - d4
Superlative - d6
Renowned -  d8

1. They proposition the Queen OR a Bard arrives whichever is worse.
2. They stalk the Queen.
3. They Declare Their Love OR a Knight appears and does the same, whichever is worse.
4. They propose marriage. If the target is already married, they promise to divorce, if the Queen is, they may try to kill her husband.
5. A Jealous Spouse or Partner arrives.
6. They try to abduct the Queen or a Creepy Wizard arrives and tries the same, whichever is worse.
7. A Fight Breaks Out OR they attempt suicide from thwarted desire, whichever is worse.
8. It's a rapey transformed demigod trying to bone the Queen. If this has happened before then it's the same one as last time.

Queens generally have both a King and a large amount of treasure..

The King!
A Queen never does anything for herself, she does it all for the King. She either has the King and is trying to get them back on the throne or she is looking for the King to then get them back to the throne. The King is (roll a d12);

1. Ancient Father - lost
2. Ancient Father - banished
3. Ancient Father - imprisoned
4. Ancient father - He's here and he's an idiot
5. Small Child - very small, he's 5.
6. Small Child - stolen by witches/a goddess/elves.
7. Small Child - she's 8 months pregnant.
8. Grown Child - He's an idiot.
9. Husband - with her, he's an idiot.
10. Husband - imprisoned somewhere.
11. Husband - ensorceled by a witch somewhere.
12. Husband - lost on quest.

If a Queen is found committing any non-lethal crime and its clear she is doing it to protect the King, in any civilised society, she will get away with it. In fact most people will applaud her for her bravery. Sometimes this can even apply to lethal crimes, if she can give a good speech about it.


Treasure Train
Every Queen begins the game with a large amount of treasure made up of heavy chests of gold and silver, precious tapestries, paintings, delicate china, furniture, an extremely rare and entirely untameable animal in a cage, at least one large musical instrument like a piano and, of course, a crown. This is found, with the Queen, lying on the side of the road.

To begin with this treasure is worth 100,000 gp. Gaining this treasure does not help PC's gain XP but all PC's who assist the Queen collectively gain 1% of the treasures value in XP for very day they keep it in her hands.

She has no-one to help carry it.

Someone is usually after this treasure, (probably the usurpers, see below) if they aren't now, they will be soon.

Usurpers!
Every Queen comes from a real and identifiable Kingdom somewhere on the edge of the map. She has been usurped by one of the following;

1.Evil Uncle.
2.Democratic Mob.
3.Hot Sorceress.
4.Barbarians.
5.Dragon or equivalent.
6.Creepy Theocracy.

The usurpers have agents after her and will have to be defeated if she is going to get her Queendom back.


*It's a quote, look it up.

Lets Read And Condense: The Unearthed Arcana Barbarian.

So, I'm playing a Barbarian in Zak's AD&D game and its laid out in such a way, with such bizarre accumulation of interrelating rules and effects that to pretend to be a barbarian you actually need to have the mind of an insurance actuary, which Gygax was, so there you go.

...

Tracking, like a Ranger, except not indoors. Ok, flip to the ranger section. Its got special conditions, ok, write those down.

Identifying plants and animals  like a 3rd level Druid, flip to the Druid spells , NOPE, its not in there, try the class itself.

Ok simple, I can identify 'types' automatically. That's a little vague, I know Zaks gonna say 'yes, you identify that this is a fish' but whatever.

Predicting weather, I do this like a third level druid as well, ok, flip to druid section. Nope, its a spell, ok flip to spell section. Spell is level-relevant, ok write down rules for doing spell at lvl 3.

Climbing, like a thief, cool, except better, cool, except only in natural environments. Ok, makes sense. Except unfamiliar natural environments, you just climb like a thief again... Ok. Except you can learn to climb like a thief on anything with 'practice'.... Ok, so barbarians have two different climb abilities depending on the familiarity or unfamiliarity of the environment and might be able to use one of them in built environments depending on how much practice they've had, but the amount of practice required is not stated.

And exactly what you roll while you are 'practicing' isn't stated either.

They also have two different stealth values..

(EDIT: I got this wrong, there is only one climb value, but two separate stealth values.)

When exactly does my 'familiar' environment of hillbilly-esque backwoods fade into an 'unfamiliar environment of fake east asia? I mean like, what latitude?

Well it's a cube so never mind.

Saves, like a fighter. Cool. Except with bonuses. Nice. Except the bonus for paralysation and death magic is different to the one for poison, so that's two columns now. And all the bonuses are flat except the one for spells so that advances in a completely different way.

I can leap ten feet. Cool. With a running start I can leap 15+d6 feel... Ok I suppose? That's completely disconnected from the stats I would expect to use for leaping but. I can leap three feet in the air, that's.. slightly better than a normal human most of the time I suppose?, with a running start I can leap 4+d4 feet in the air..

But half the value of the d4. So four to six feet, that's not bad.

“Springing under similar conditions gives an upward distance of 4-7 feet, depending on the surface used as a step to gain height and spring.”

Ok, whats a 'spring'?  It must be somewhere right? Right?

No.

Ok, well I can still leap and a spring probably wasn't that good anyway.

A bonus to AC. Cool. "2 steps for every point of dexterity over 14. But only if armour not of the bulky, or fairly bulky type." Ok, whats 'fairly bulky'? I mean plate is definitely bulky and leather isn't, what about hide? Chain? Does this affect my stealth thing like it might with a thief? Probably, but it doesn't say anywhere..

I CAN SUMMON A HORDE!

Of 275 people. Well that's not bad.

"the leader of the horde will gain two aides"

Wait, what, What kind of barbarian has aides? "I am Garm, of the Wastes and leader of the Horde of Doom, and this is my aide Grarg, and my secondary aid Marg."

"each aide will have two assistants of one half the aide’s level"

".. and here are Garg's aides, Borlax and Gorlax, and Marg's aides, Vertox and Vortox."

Wow, Barbarians come to the table like the lawyers in a Simpsons Episode.

And of course, Barbarians hate magic.

Xp for destroying magic items is pretty kewl. Do other PC's share in that though? That's slightly weird. Handy if you can't carry something big back to a city though, just have Garm chuck the magic mirror off a precipice and bang, Xp for all.

I can't even associate with Magic-Users. It's like I got a Barbarian ASBO. Ok, I'll just avoid talking to the party Magic-User until level, what is that, level 6? So just 80,001 xp to go then and I can speak to them 'when necessary'. We'll just happen to be going in the same direction, on the same ship, and entering the same dungeons at the same time. How long till we can just hang out?

Level 8, 275,001 xp. "May associate with Magic-Users, occasionally".

But wait, to make up for it they can smell magic, that's pretty cool. Except its not really smelling it but whatever, Detect Illusion is pretty good. And they can smell other magic too..

Which advances in a completely different way to the detect illusion thing, so thats a new column. But they can smell wizards too right?

Nope. Not magic people, just spells and objects. I hate Magic Users, but I really have to catch them actually doing magic to be sure they are one, or dicking around with robes and crystal balls or whatever.

But that could be a wierd priest..

......

Through the fruits of my genius and mild aspergers, I have put together the following thing that has all the AD&D Unearthed Arcana barbarian rules, and all the rules that apply to those rules, and all the rules that apply to those rules, and attempted to condense them into a single document that doesn't drive you totally fucking nuts.

It's in landscape format because the basic levelling table has 12 columns,

That's not including the Saves table. Or the Leaping sub-table.

So if anyone really wanted to play the Barbarian from Unearthed Arcana and didn't want to do an insane load of paperwork, (a narrow group I'm sure), then click on the image below;

Think this is from Diablo 3, not sure who the artist is (its;Phroilan Gardner).

EDIT: The Document is now a much more attractive one that Jacob Hurst put together. He has used his design skills to put the whole thing on four pages, but, by the ancient compact of design made with the dark gods so long ago, any space freed by intelligent arrangement must then be spend on pictures of naked people and groovy trade dress.

Old School Doctor Class

T.V. Doctors are basically insane super-competent hyper-dramatic badasses who, when they aren't saving lives, are kicking ass. Its almost like the best thing you can possibly be because you can do the two most important things that a person can ever do to or for another, keep them alive, or end them.

Also you can bone them.

This is an idea that has swum about on this blog since the earliest days. Maybe it’s a repeat post, I don't know. Maybe its one of those ideas I will have again in five years time.

Fuck it.

DOCTOR CLASS

Basics:

Attack Bonus, Hit Points, Saves and Levelling like Fighter. The Doctor is a badass.

KUNG-FU. The Doctor knows KUNG FU and knows pressure points. You do d4 damage unarmed and can always grapple with a successful hit on any humanoid not wearing plate or natural armour. You can do this one handed, Mr Spock style, and still do something else with the other hand.

SCALPELS. You generally have a scalpel on you. This does d12 damage on those who are incapacitated or grappled and d2 on everyone else. You can do stuff like cut ropes with it.

KNOWS EVERYTHING. Once a day for each level you can effectively cast 'Identify' on any item or localised process. This can be an object, disease or 'how it works' question.

This isn't magic and can't be dispelled. You are drawing upon the vast learning you are assumed to be engaged in pretty much continually. You retain this knowledge so if you find the same object, situation, process or disease again you know what it is. For very complex illness or curses, working out what it is and how it is cured can be two, or more, separate things.

LANGUAGES. If you level up in a culture with a different language, you learn that language.

SCROLLS AND ITEMS. You can use magic scrolls and items like a thief of your level for the system you are in. At least until you choose, or roll SCULLY-ASS MOTHERFUCKER below. In which case you realise its all bullshit and never do it again.

HEALING. Out of combat you can heal d4 basic trauma damage per turn (10, minutes). This can be stuff like splinting arms and stitching wounds, but also possibly replacing a bit of someones broken skull with a coin.

........

SAVING LIVES. If in combat rounds for any reason (not just combat itself) you can heal and even restore to life by going to war with DEATH ITSELF.

The DM plays death (as always).

This is a mutual roll-off with you against death. It happens twice each round, on your turn and the DM's.

You both roll a d20.

You add your level and either INT, WIS or DEX bonus, whichever is higher.

The DM rolls d20 and adds the number of HP the target is under zero.

You need to win three times in sequence.

Stage 1 - Stabilises & stops the bleeding.
Stage 2 - Searches wound & removes any foreign object.
Stage 3 - closes and stabilises. Restarts heart if necessary. The target now has 1 hp.

Every time you lose the patient slips back one place. If they are in Stage 1 and you lose then they get closer to death in whichever way is usual for that system.

ACTING gives you a plus one to your roll and if you ACT CONTINUOUSLY then you get a cumulative bonus. +1 for the first turn, +2 for the second etc.


........



BUT

NO WEAPONS. No weapon proficiencies if those are normal for your system (I.e. 5th ed). If they are not normal for your system then you get minus d3 to hit when wielding any weapon other than a scalpel or your hands.

NO ARMOUR. You are not a violent person, you are a person who can do violence.

DO NO HARM. You cannot do *lethal* damage on another self-aware humanoid. This starts out humans only but each level you grow as a person and add another self-aware humanoid species that you May Not Kill. If you take them below zero hp you have to save their life.

If you break this rule you have a Dark Night Of The Soul and lose a level.

MEDICAL BAG. You have a medical bag with most of your medical stuff in it. You can't do much Doctoring without it. It’s boring when it goes missing so it generally doesn't.

Thats level one. For the other levels, choose or roll from below if you like.



1. SCULLY-ASS MOTHERFUCKER. 

You know some magic is real because you have evidence of that, you also know it’s entirely explicable and rarely what it seems, or claims to be, more delusion and madness than meaningful knowledge. The sooner everyone stops indulging in that claptrap, the better off everyone will be.

You gain a double save against any magical effect. Essentially meaning you save at advantage. This applies to positive effects as well.

BUT

Magic Stuff won't work for you. Not scrolls, spells or items of any kind.

Also you 'Scully' every imprecise conversation, thereby draining joy from the world.


2. ATHEIST ASSHOLE

Gods are just hyper-dimensional aliens or active psychic fields and PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW.

You are immune to non-physical Clerical or divine magic. I.e., if a divine rainstorm soaks everyone then you get soaked. But a Geas spell or soul-reading thing has no effect. If a god throws a rock at you the rock can hit, but if they slap you, nothing connects.

BUT

You cannot be healed by said magic. You wouldn’t want to be anyway.

Also you tend to irritate everyone by banging on like Dawkins twitter feed when you are under stress. You just will not let that shit go, and frankly are something of a liability when dealing with the religious.

3.BRAIN SURGEON

Like Doc Savage, you are convinced you can make people, and monsters, 'better'. If you have the time and money you can, and will, try to do brain surgery on subdued monsters and 'evil' people.

Brain Surgery requires the living but sedated body of a person or humanish monster and a carefully prepared antiseptic environment. Simply transforming a normal room in this way with boiled sheets and vinegar swabs costs 500gp in an urban environment. In a privileged rural environment like a castle or monastery it costs 1000gp and may be impossible.

Surgery requires an hour per HD of the individual being 'improved'. Each hour costs 50gp in materials. The subject must make a save each hour to avoid death. If they fail a save they go below zero by the same amount they failed by. You can attempt to resuscitate them with your SAVING LIVES power.

On waking the D.M. rolls a loyalty value for the creation on 2d6. Also deduct this number from the INT of the creature. The very loyal are also very dumb.

If doubles are rolled then the Doctor has created a PERSONAL NEMESIS. Add d20 intelligence to the creatures base. If the total goes above 20 INT for every point above 20 give them a freaky mind-power like a Hypnotic Stare or a cool talent like an Eidetic Memory or Organ Music Savant. The Nemesis is OBSESSED WITH THEIR CREATOR and will dog their steps on and off until one of them is destroyed



4.CHARISMATIC ADDICT

You always have drugs on you. Not that boring herbal shit either. The real stuff. You always have Laudanum at least.

(Laudanum - save or pass out for minutes equal to your loss. d8 extra hit points from loss of pain. Immune to fear and panic. You save on advantage because you are a JUNKIE.)

If the PC's come into contact with a drug or druglike substance and its even slightly possible you could have bagged some behind the scenes then you can simply mention it and bang, looks like you did. d4 doses right there in your bag.

DM's choice as to how reasonable this is.

BUT

You are a goddammn junkie. In any environment and situation when the DM thinks its reasonable, the DM may say that you need to score (and you would be surprised where you can score), you lose 50% of your money. These regular losses fuel your drug 'creation' power.

You gain a Criminal Contact each time this occurs, they are a Horrible Person and they are familiar with you. This happens whether you like it or not.

In any urban environment, if the opportunity presents itself, you MUST CAROUSE.



6. HEALER OF MINDS

yOU ARE a shit-hot psychologist, or maybe psychiatrist, or both. Probably you invented both those things. You know the secrets of the subconscious. You can heal people of madnesses and mental effects, but this takes TIME and they must COMMIT TO THE TREATMENT. Usually it takes an hour long intensive meeting once a week with the number of weeks equal to the level of the effect. The DM may ask the patient and Doctor to role-play out at least part of this treatment.

Your Identify effect now applies to secret motivations of people they meet, as well as to curses, geas's etc.

BUT

Fucking Nuts. You understand the crazies so much because you ARE a crazy. Roll a random Madness. You will refuse to have this treated in any meaningful way, if it is ever cured, you lose your mind-healing ability.



7. MULTIVERSAL DIPLOMA

You are a Real Doctor and can prove it with a fancy diploma that you keep on you. This also includes stuff like an official pass saying 'This Person Is Really A Doctor' which applies to most reasonable social situations. It can get you into places and people won't disbelieve it unless they have good reason.

BUT

You have ACADEMIC ENEMIES  - a Rival Team of adventurers now exists somewhere in the world, lead by your Philosophical Opposite. You were best friends in college, maybe TOO CLOSE, they called you both radicals but they REALLY GOT YOU. Then after the accident, things went wrong and now you are FOES. This person levels as you do, has a team of roughly the same competence and ability as yours and has a belief system apparently similar yet in fact opposite to yours. They exist only to foil you and prove you wrong. They don't necessarily want to kill you, they just want you to admit that they are right, which might involve you being very close to death.

In cases of multiversal shift both the Diploma and Foe have equivalents in other realities.


8. ELEGANT DUELLIST

Ok you can have one weapon proficiency or decent sword that you are good with. You have a 'name weapon' like a rapier or a sword stick or something and you can use weapons of that Exact Type as if you were proficient.

BUT

This proficiency only works in one-on-one duels or semi-formal fights (ie above Reichenbach falls). In a brawl or unstructured melee it has no effect.


9. BIBLIOPHILE

You double any XP you might get from stealing, recovering, possessing or preserving books. You gain an always-on 'Identify' effect in regards to books or written materials. If you haven’t heard of it, you have heard of something quite like it. Even if you cant read the language you know what it is.

BUT

You think essentially all books belong to you. You will NEVER sell or surrender any of them. When they grow to heavy you must build, buy or rent a library and send all your books there (this can work across, or be mirrored across dimensions). The player must keep a detailed record of which books they have there.


10. DRAMA QUEEN

You cannot heal or save anyone in combat rounds without starting and persisting in an entirely inappropriate conversation about your EMOTIONS. You have to talk about your RELATIONSHIP with another team member and YES it has to be NOW. You must continue and actively role-play this conversation for every round of healing.

BUT

It actually does make you better at your job. You gain a cumulative bonus for each round. This is in addition to any bonus you get from ACTING. So if you are both screaming "I need a pint of Troll Blood STAT" and "Janice this isn't about my career, this is about US." At the same time, then you get +2 cumulative for each round you do this.


(Thanks to everyone who contributed to this G+ post about Doctors.)

5e SAVAGES Hunter Class

So my four classes for SAVAGES were going to be Fighter, Thief, Hunter and Shaman. Fighter and Thief should remain relatively unaltered. Shaman is a mish mash of Cleric and Magic User. Here is my first attempt at a Hunter Class.


HD d8
ARMOUR Any non-metallic
WEAPONS Simple, Simple Ranged, Martial Ranged, Shortsword, Scimitar, Trident, Whip, Bolas.
SAVES WIS, CON
SKILLS Three from, Animal Handling, Insight, Nature, Perception, Stealth, Survival, Medicine

EQUIPMENT, choose either

a Net              or b Whip
a Mace           or b Trident
a Blowgun       or b Sling
a Hunting Trap or b Spyglass
a Manacles      or b Caltrops

A Trident or Whip can entangle if you use it. It requres an opposed roll between you and a hit target to maintain this.

Bolas, thrown (30/120) d2 Damage, entangles as net, one target only.


Tracking
In a natural environment you can track creatures. This is either a WIS or INT roll to which you add your proficiency bonus.

The total amount rolled is the distance you can see into the past. The first digit is the number of words  the DM must use to tell you what you have found. If you find anything at all the DM must always give you a direction.

So if some Orcs have passed in the last ten hours and you roll '13' the DM would simply say 'Orcs, North'. If you roll '35' the DM might say 'Five Desperate Orcs, North'. 


Trapping
When the environment allows it, you can build traps. Describle the actions it will take for you to build one to the DM. You roll using either yout INT or DEX, whichever is higher, plus your proficiency bonus.

The total of your roll is the difficulty for the target in spotting your trap.

The DC is 10+ the die size of the damage you would like the trap to do. So a d3 damage trap has a DC of 13. A d10 damage trap has one of 20. It takes minutes equal to the die size for you to build the trap.

Roll with disadvantage to trap anything at least two size catagories larger or smaller than you.

If you take the full time required you roll the DC check yourself. If you are cut short by any period, the DM rolls the check and does not tell you the result until the trap is triggered, spotted, or fails.


Lvl 1:  Tracking and Trapping.
Lvl 1: You count as having Stealth if you are in a natural environment, hiding and still. If you already have Stealth, take advantage on the roll under these circumstances.
Lvl 2: Birdsong. In a natural environment where birds are present, your passive perception check includes up to a mile radius if you have it in sight.
Lvl 3: Add an extra attack if at least one of the weapons you are wielding entangles.
Lvl 3: Climbing no longer costs extra movement.
Lvl 3: Add your DEX or STR Mod to the distance covered with a Running Jump.
Lvl 4: Ability Score Improvement
Lvl 5: Beastmaster. You gain the ability to tame and train the following creatures. If Orc - Boars & Dire Boars. Gnoll - Hyenas, Hyenadrons and Trolls. Goblin - Wolves, Worgs and Spiders. Mantis Man - Giant Insects. The creatures must be found, captured, tamed and fed in-game. You can naver have more than HD worth of creautures equal to your CHA bonus tame at any one time.
Lvl 6: Expertise. One more Proficiency.
Lvl 7: Entangler. Enemy saves against your entangling attacks with disadvantage.
Lvl 8: Ability Score Improvement
Lvl 9: You know what the weather will be like tomorrow.
Lvl 10: Ability Score Improvement
Lvl 11: Monster Language. Learn one monster language and add your Prof bonus to any test you ake to communicate with them.
Lvl 12: Ability Score Improvement
Lvl 13: You can now track incorporeal creatures like ghosts.
Lvl 14: Blindsense 10'
Lvl 15: Proficiency: Wis Saves
Lvl 16: Ability Score Improvement
Lvl 17: You can calm or tame any natural unintelligent creature with half your HD or less. Only one at a time. They may not obey but will not attack.
Lvl 19: Ability Score Improvement
Lvl 20: You can track Death. If Death has passed nearby you can follow her path and find those recently dead. Be aware, if you overtake Death and find the target alive, the real target may be you.

Kamikaze Librarian

 Extra class thing based on the LOTFP ruleset. 

The idea and one or two of the entries yanked from Zak Smiths Fighter, Wizard and Thief

Its this-

 Plus this-

 

No shields, no plate mail, Its Kamikaze Librarian.

 This can be applied when you level up to either .

A Specialist; when you level up add  d6 Hp,  or

A Dwarf; add d6 Hp

And also, roll twice on the table below for each level gained.

(All references to books can also count for equivalent cultural artefacts, paintings, sculpture etc, so long as it makes sense in context.)

(Elves and Halflings cannot be Kamikaze Librarians, they are not Punk enough. Elves are Disco, Halflings are Folk.)

1-15 A dull day out indeed, add 2 skill points if a Specialist, if a Dwarf, either roll a d10 for hitpoints, or add one skill point to any skill of your choice.

16-30 RAAAAAGGGHH!!! Either +1 to hit (continual) or attacks equal to your level for one fight per game or one extra move action whenever you like, so long as you use it to get into melee combat with something bigger than you.

31-50 I have a book on that… Name a book, its contents and subject. You own it. Once per game you can use it to add your level to a roll regarding something relevant to the subject of the book.

51-52 Bookzerker. If a book (or equivalent cultural artefact) is in immediate danger of destruction, then you gain +1 to hit AND +1 attack AND +1 move action for each item that is threatened, up to 1/2 your level (rounding up . So a level 10 bookzerker gets +5 things they can do and can decide each as they wish. Only in effect while the item is in danger. (If you deliberately put it in danger then fucking shoot yourself, don’t play this class.) If you roll this again, add one to your total  of actions each time.

53-54“It belongs in a MUSEUM” Once per fight, as a free action you can grab an item of cultural/historical significance from someone adjacent to you. No roll or penalty. (Significance, i.e.  A Sword, no, but The Sword Of The King Of Tazadun, yes.)  roll this again and on a dex test they didn’t notice, 3 times and they definitely didn’t notice plus you get a free move action.

55-56 Bookclub/ Scrollknife You can roll up any scroll and turn it into an impromptu D4 weapon Jason-Bourne style. A book likewise. A big book you need two hands for becomes a d6 weapon, though that is less of a surprise. If it’s a magic book or scroll then the dice ‘explodes’ on a max roll. Add a die size every time you roll this result.

57-58 ‘Oh..  My… God’  The daVinci Mode. This carving on the wall, detail on the cup, marginal note, the sculptures eyes, concerto’s notation, the temples alignment, THE RAYS COMING FROM THE STAFF. It breaks the whole thing open, now you see what’s really going on. Once per game you can talk for exactly thirty seconds, no more, without pause or prep, about some detail you have found and how it REVEALS EVERYTHING. If the DM and players buy it, then can re-write reality equivalent to a limited wish spell. It must make sense in the context of the game.

59-60 Alexandrian Fire Brigade. You are really good at stopping things (and people) being on fire very very quickly. Books, buildings, city states. It scales up if you have the time and resources.  Roughly one second for a painting or book,  Takes about 10 seconds per man-sized-mass-equivalent. 

61-62 Curatorial Expertise. You can tell when any organised group of physical things is out of place or other than it should be given the system in which it is arranged. Books in a library, statues in a row, paintings in a gallery, knives in a cupboard. There must be five or more things. Time taken to inspect is relative to the size of the grouping. It tells you nothing else about the thing, what it is or why it is there. Not people, unless they are arranged like objects to an abstract logic. The assassin in a dancehall, no, one of the red queens playing-card guards, yes.

63-64 An Angel of Formaldehyde. Give you a jar big enough and a solid place to stand and you could pickle the world. You can pickle any dead once-living thing you find. Assuming you have a jar big enough and the chemicals.  If you take it home, every day of study will grant you some piece of knowledge about the thing. Up to your level. (Base expectation is a vulnerability or a +1 to hit or damage). If you only have part of a thing then it might take you more time or more examinations to works stuff out proportionate to the chunk that you have. As you increase in level you can go back to your old specimens and maybe find new things about them.

65-66 An Axe to Smash the Face of Time.  Time is the enemy of Librarians, a book is a stony dam in the torrent of Lethe, a museum is like the Hoover Dam. If carrying an Axe in Tragic circumstances (i.e. witness to things being subject to inevitable loss) then you may enter a screaming fit and hew your Axe into the face of Chronos. Chronos is currently incarnated,( in the manner of Moby Dick) as the people/things pissing you off at this particular moment. (It’s an Ahab thing). The Axe will wipe their memories. By smashing their fucking brains out of their head. Every blow is to the head of humanoid enemies, d20 damage each time. One fight per game. Add one for each time you roll this. Any survivors suffer amnesia. If you are not carrying an Axe, why not? Not even a small one? A tomahawk? What kind of librarian are you?

67-68 Five Thousand Furies in the Teeth of the Gods. You know the names of 5000 furies from scraping for weeks through broken cuneiform script. Well you sort of know them, you kind of forgot most and they blur a little into one after a while. If you can point at a person (or intelligent monster) and name correctly the thing they have done that would enrage the Kindly Ones then the Fury of that particular act will plunger out of the heavens and fill you with divine rage. So long as you are trying to kill that particular person. Plus (=your level) attacks and plus (=your level) damage for each hit so long as you fight that person. Pass out for minutes =your level after fight is over. Once per game for every time rolled. 

69-70 An oath of bone, and eye of stone. Your word is as a rock, and that rock is for caving skulls. You may single out one opponent whose name you know and describe in sonorous pseudo-celtic or plastic anglo-saxon verse, exactly how you will kill them in this fight. If you score a critical against them in this conflict, and if at all possible, the oath comes true. Once per game per times rolled. 

71-72 Raw Punk Hair. You get a new haircut and it looks punk as fuck. You now stand out as an opponent of Authority. Anyone who has been oppressed by the Man will find it hard to distrust you. Anyone working for the Man will peg you straight on as trouble. (Who the Man is shifts relative to circumstances). Hair effect disappears with skull shaving or a helmet, but reappears once the hair grows back or helmet (or hat) is removed. You will not change the hair. Why would you? +1 CHA to those opposed to authority each roll. No-one suspects you are a narc.

73-74 Sharp Motherfucker.  You look like a detective in an off-kilter tv series, a teacher who reads Vice magazine, a social worker whose sister owns a boutique.  Kind of a low-level vaguely beneficial authority figure who dresses really well. Police will trust you. The mayor likes you shoes. If you ask about the crime scene people will just assume you are supposed to know. You going to that thing later? +1 CHA to authority figures each time, plus no questions at the door. (if you roll both Raw Punk Hair and Sharp Motherfucker then you will confuse the fuck out of people, you can decide how people take you, but you better act the part, you also look amazing).

75-76 Dewy Decimal Deathsong.  As your life bleeds from you, in a flurry of doomstruck blows you categorise the fuck out of everything you can see. Add your WIS and INT modifiers together. When at half hit points or below, you may have this many extra attacks per round, so long as you (the player) shout the category of each individual thing you are hitting as you (the character) swing. Once per game. Plus once for every  time you roll this.

77-78 Flynnsertion. One per fight, as a free action, you can grab a rope or curtain or chain or anything like that and freely swing anywhere it could reasonably take you. If you are swinging into danger, there is no roll involved. If trying to get out of danger, roll your DEX, unless you are carrying a book away from someone who shouldn’t have it. Once per fight every time you reroll this.

78-79 ‘lefthanded writer,  just ate lunch, hates his mother’  You can analyse handwriting, ink types, paper scars, all kinds of pseudo forensic bullshit. Reading any piece of handwritten text lets you describe/discover nouns and adjectives equal to your level about the writer. If you get it wrong (if the identity is already set in game) then the DM has to give you the correct word.

80-81 We Have Heard of Those Princes Heroic Campaigns. You remember these guys from somewhere.. When confronted with a high level noble, king, merchant house, church, guild or equivalent you can recall the real story as to where they come from, they source of their power, it rarely what they say it is. The DM must provide any and all information about this family/organisation. The information must be at least 100 years old. Once per game per roll.

82-83 Chomskarian Rhetoric. With an opposed CHA vs WIS roll and a long (an hour at least) conversation, you can use reductive logic, carefully chosen evidence and shocking confidence to  temporarily  convince low level members of any group that EVERYTHNG THEY KNOW IS WRONG. Up is down, black is white, THEY are US. Wears off after a day or so. Once per game per roll.

83-84 Divine Mandala Telephone. Pick a god of knowledge or writing from the setting or from real history. You know them. You don’t necessarily worship them. They don’t necessarily like you or owe you anything. But you know them and can contact them by making a complex mandala of special sand (takes d6 – DEX mod hours and no wind or interruption)

85-90 ‘dammn my eyes’ Your eyes are fucked, you now need glasses to see. Roll this twice and your glasses can see one thing normal glasses can’t (Infrared, ghosts etc) Add one thing for each time you roll this result. Make sure to clean them carefully after each blood-spattered brainbashing.

91 My Axe is my Bookmark. +1 Str to racial max, excess goes to Str or Con.

92 You are the steely-eyed one at the end of the bar. +1 Wis to racial max, excess goes to Int or Cha.

93 Reading pays off. +1 Int to racial max, excess goes to Wis or Cha. Note: You look no smarter.

94 You actually DO know what you’re talking about. +1 Cha. to racial max, excess goes to Wis or Int.

95-96 Cartographers guild party crasher You were at this party, with these map guys, you think, you were pretty drunk. Anyway they had this map that looked a bit like where we are now. Probably…  Player can close their eyes and draw, with pencil, and their off hand, one thing on the DM’s map. It’s probably there, or roughly there. Something like that anyway. Once per game per roll.

97-98 I only read the action scenes You actually read a prophecy about this exact event ages ago somewhere, actually you skipped most of it and you forgot how it ends but the death scenes were really specific. 2+ save against the next thing that would have killed you as you suddenly remember what it was. Of course now the prophecy is useless because you broke it. Once for each reroll.

99-100 Marcus Brody You have a Brody,

 an excellent, decent, civilised, knowledgeable friend at home. They consistently advise you no to go on adventures. They will never (no matter how much the Dm wants them to) betray you. If you make it home wounded or broken they will patch you up. They will look after your stuff while you are not around. If you are captured and they hear about it they will bravely (and stupidly) set out to rescue you. This rescue will, amazingly, considering how utterly useless they are at adventuring, be successful. As soon as you are rescued, the Brody will themselves be captured by someone horrible. Should you fail to rescue them, they will be killed. Who’s going to look after your stuff now you self-centred piece of shit?

And you get this

‘Another piece for the collection’ You have a place, somewhere, it’s safe. Like a small off the beaten track museum, library or gallery. You can keep your stuff there (reasonably) safe from DM interference. Name it.

For each exhibit of a type (sword, vase, picture, style, era, genre, author, smith.) retrieved and preserved safely by you. Once per game you may assess any item of that type. Roll a percentage dice.

-if the first d10 is under the number retreieved, the price, makup, creator, likely owner and any other mundane information within reason are known.

-if the 2 d10s, taken as a 2-digit number, are lower than the total slain, you know EVERYTHING that may be useful about that item. Including magical effects, strange conspiracies, likelt plot relavence e.t.c

Identicals or multiple mundane examples don't count, max is 90, collected after that just goes to bragging rights at your FLGS.

GMs are free to determine what constitutes a "type", Librarians are free to bore everyone by buying endless books in little second hand shops for no reason just to notch up, and the other players are free to have a little talk with them if they abuse these rights and perhaps should view them doing so as a nice little red flag.

Contrarian Knobend Dungeons & Dragons

Reading my friend talk about random character generation andoptimisation got me thinking about what happens in our minds when we create a person from a row of random numbers.

Like, which numbers are the best? And can you do the opposite of optimisation and would it be a good thing.

I thought of three ways there can be good numbers.

First When you look at a list of numbers and some are wildly divergent, then they are better than the average array. They make better people. Like this:-

STR-4 DEX-12 CON-15 CHA-7 WIS-17 INT-8

Is better than this

STR-9 DEX-13 CON-10 CHA-11 WIS-8 INT-10

The first person is more interesting. They are weak, tough, slightly unpleasant to be around and very aware. That is already a person I want to know more about. Who is the second person? Who cares?

When you look at divergent stats, your mind does a different kind of work than when you look at a steady range. It’s impossible to look at the first array without asking questions. It doesn’t make sense so you have to read it. It’s impossible to hold those numbers in your head as a description of a potential person without your mind waking up and interrogating them as an embodied human being. This is a particular person. Not a type. They have a particular body and a particular history. Why are they so weak and so tough? A disease? Age? Why are they so charmless and so aware of themselves. What kind of personality does this make? Are they embittered? Cruel? Not thoughtless anyway.

You may argue that you can do exactly the same thing for the second person. You can give them a history and a character and everything. Yes. You can, but you don’t have to. They slot neatly into place. The numbers float through your mind without triggering any dissonance. The first person is a problem to be solved and when you look at them your mind will try to solve the problem whether you want it to or not. You already told your brain its meant to be a person and it can’t allow people to be atomised or inconsistent. It sees people very day. They have to make sense, somehow. Not the usual kind of sense perhaps but they must be a meaningful whole.

Second When you assign this person a class you are deciding a big chunk of their history, some of their nature and everything about their future. You also choose much of how they will interact with the game world.

We don’t want our guy to die so we can’t make him a fighter. A cleric might be ok, or a wizard..

But what if we decided to not give a fuck about that? What if we added another kind of dissonance on a different scale. What is the least appropriate class for this person? Lets make them a fighter. What happens inside our heads now?

The first choice took effect over seconds. The second choice will take hours to play out. What happens when we try to play a character against type?

The answer is that we think and we think furiously. We obsess, we embody. Our weak fighter won’t survive in a swordfight, they have to fight at range. How will they do this? What tactics will they use? What kind of person does this, why do they fight?

The only way for us to deal with this is to harry the game world. We become obsessive investigators of the fictional environment. We cannot sit and wait for the tools and situations the DM gives us. That will kill us. We must search, observe, intuit, strive and decide. Yes you can with a normal character. But with our broken fighter you must. They cannot be played with just the stuff on the sheet and in the book. They will only survive as the product of an active mind.

Third On another level we must do this as a very particular person. The product of a very particular history. No normal person with these qualities would choose to fight. There must be something different about them, personality or history or both. You can’t ignore this. Unless you solve it the character doesn’t work. And you will be solving it continuously as you play.

Because you made this person, you will see the world through them. You didn’t make them when you rolled the dice. You did it without realising when you looked at the stats. And then again with ten or twenty micro-choices in the first hour of play. Ones you didn’t even see yourself making. You didn’t design this person but you made them nonetheless. They are a product of the patterns of your thought.

So you see things from their point of view, because it grew invisibly from your point of view.

So now you have to solve three exciting problems on three levels simultaneously and continuously. The conflict between stats, the conflict between stats and class in problem solving, and the problem of seeing the world through a very particular personality.

I call this ‘Contrarian Knobend Dungeons & Dragons’ or CKD&D, because you are being a pretentious fancy bastard and making a big point of making things difficult for yourself because you are a bit special.