Friday, 2 December 2022

Internal Voices Shut UP!

 Well then, I can finally stop making new HERBIE images. My month of Whoredom is over.


Believe it or not I actually thought this would be an "easy win". My assumption was that we would rocket through all of the early goals.


"I can’t believe you are making this book it’s so bananas." - A NAYSAYER

Apparently not everyone had COMPLETE FAITH in my ability to persuade people to fund this book! Something they NEGLECTED TO MENTION at the time!

I initially assumed we would hit 1000 copies quickly and then coast on towards an assumed 2000 copies and then use the stretch goals and end of run surge to maybe hit 4000.

But what actually happened as the Kickstarter opened was that it was waaaay less popular than I had perhaps foolishly assumed it would be. I was completely wrong and had to pull a Putin almost immediately, retreating from my initial goal and re-estimating all the costs for a much smaller print run.

Against that now-miniscule goal, we then did pretty well ("well"), and in fact got all of the artists and 1000 copies which means the KS was not a complete failure.

To be honest if I thought clearly or carefully about most of the stuff I do, I wouldn't do it. Perhaps in this case ignorance is a gift.

Still there is hope, maybe if this book works out it might be the first in a grand collection of Blog Books commemorating the deep lore of the OSR for future generations, each book preserving the odd voice of a particular sage.


We hope to get 'Speak, False Machine' printed by the start of April 2023. Only 4 months away! 

Should we pull it off, the next 'False Machine' Kickstarter will be for a book called 'Gackling Moon' - a much smaller book, an edited, added-to, improved and illustrated book about the 'Moonlands' based on the old 'Wodlands' posts from this blog.

'Gacking Moon' will have an artist I think, so far utterly unknown to an RPG Audience. I will talk more about that as we get closer to the time.

'Moon' was actually meant to be a simple 'in-and-out' project from... maybe two years ago? Maybe more. Oh lord. But it was delayed for a variety of reasons and then after the final possibility for a simple production fell through I offered to take it in.

Being much smaller, cheaper, fully illustrated, an actual Fantasy adventure book and having Goblins, hopefully 'Gackling Moon' will do well...

And what then?

I do not know. Probably Queen Mab, if we can actually get it to post-playtest by then.

And after that, I know everyone wants us to Re-Do VEINS OF THE EARTH, but we also have Broken Fire Regime Part 2: Frictionless Blue Glass to create.

So, the False Machine Schedule for the coming year is... (these always turn out to be wrong);

  • April 2023 - Print of 'Speak, False Machine'
  • March 2023 - Kickstarter for 'Gackling Moon'
  • September 2023 (?) - Kickstarter for 'Queen Mab'
  • December 2023  -Printing of 'Queen Mab'
  • April 2024 - Kickstarter for... either Frictionless Blue Glass or Veins of the Earth.

I know if I let you vote on it you would all vote for VotE and then I would have to not make it out of resentment for you all. So instead I will talk it over with Scrap and we will PULL IT OUT OF OUR ASSES!

Below the jump is EVERY HERBIE IMAGE I did for promotion;



  1. I'd vote for frictionless blue glass, actually. I loved Demon Bone Sarcophagus, and dearly want you to complete the trilogy.

    1. I echo this. There's so much hinted at in the first one!

  2. Despite unsure times (which are probably a factor in your needing to scale the thing back - people wonder how they will pay for heat come January where I live), this is the first Kickstarter I've ever backed. Been a backseat-reader of yourse for most of your run, you are one of three creators who inspired me to start my own blog (the other two being Arnold K and he-who-shall'nt-be-mentioned-unless-yoour're-willing-to-duke-it-out-24/7). I'm doing this as a very small way of saying: Thank you, Patrick.

  3. I've lost track of what state Queen Mab is in, but at least from what I remember from blog posts over the years (I think it's been years?), Queen Mab is probably the upcoming thing of yours I'm most excited about, for whatever that's worth.

  4. VotE is my favorite RPG book but I definitely want to see the BFR trilogy complete. Either of the options would make me happy!

  5. I'm reading Demon Bone now and I'm making a list of typos. Is that something you want and where should I send it?

  6. I just found this blog

    what the hell is going on.

    1. Love this comment, good luck with your acclimation