Wednesday, 16 November 2022

Twenty Heralds of the Garbage Barge!

But as I sup from the developing brew I muse sympathetically within my own mind; "Some taste or flavour escapes me.. what could it be?"

Then, glimmering oddly on the horizon of my memory, there springs into my frontal cortex the phantasmorgic form of.... Amanda Lee Franck!

"Of course!" I solophise, "the perfect complement to my Mullen Stew", and race off in pursuit, net in hand. 

But whom and why, and where, is Amanda Lee Franck? Many links promise knowledge of her mysteries and some are set here for your pleasure..

You may wish to peruse her "itchooooo" and the adventure "You Got a Job on the Garbage Barge", in tribute to which, please accept this small d20 list of.......


1. Eels fill the waterways.
2. Children become translucent and compulsively burrow.
3. Sentient dry ice breaks into homes.
4. Clouds gathering are actually made of old crisp packets, they hail dorito dust and rain oil.
5. Anxious garbage men knock on early morning doors asking "is this really all you have?"
6. The light from mobile phones summons tiny midge clouds which obscure use.
7. Council Pamphlet "HAVE YOU SEE "FLOATERS"?" These now seemingly real & not just eyeball things
8. All TV series infinitely loop, late night viewers swear sitcoms are auto-generating "false episodes".
9. Precognisant safety railings crumple in advance of any crash.
10. Everyone is repeating the hour of 5am but no-one will believe the early risers.
11. Ice Cream vans now have blacked out windows, scratchy intercom s & Ice Cream men w hairy hands.
12. Local Google maps gives cryptic routes which compulsively skirt graveyards & waterways.
13. Flashing television lights in empty homes, neighbours asking for duct tape.
14. 'Lost' child clothes hung on ironwork fences proliferate, more each day, all decayed.
15. Crows steal phones and make random calls. It’s all just cawS.
16. Ancient post starts to arrive for occupants of house 5 decades ago.
17. Car headlamps full of dying flies, resulting nacreous light casts tarmac in pale glow.
18. 1950's spiv goes door to door, offering to "reverse your taps" for "a shilling", sounds like a threat.
19. Birds lose fear of man and try to get inside the house.
20. The sun begins to clatter like a machine slowing down, the sun opens like a door, revealing it was little more than a painted spot about 100 feet off the ground, a flat capped gent in overalls smoking a pipe climbs out on a ladder and starts banging on the sky with a wooden mallet, the mechanical sound restarts, speeds up and becomes inaudible, the man climbs back into the sun and closes it, the day goes on.

Beyond Amanda lie the unbearable imaginings of the Isle-Bound Sorcerer Daniel Puerta, the biblically accurate brainscapes of the  Nechrarch Valin Mattheis, the cryptic dreamscapes of rumoured madman Dirk Detweiler Leichty, the brunneous paracosmic children of the mysteriously eldritch Ana Polanšćak and finally, far beyond the lands we know, the lanquid sketches of the disturbingly beautiful, and possibly fey, Alec Sorenson.

15 days! 7 goals! Can we do it???


  1. I think we actually hit more goals while I was writing this post but I am not re-writing it now

  2. I feel like we passed peak OSR a little while ago, and now we're approaching a downward spiral of frivolous decadence and creative regurgitation.

    1. When the crazy right wing trolls or other slimy types are coming after you, it usually means you're on the right track.

  3. I imagined crows making phone calls in a style of Victorian newspaper drawing, and it was rather funny.