Thursday, 19 December 2013

If you love somebody, set them free

I am having emotional problems with my main PC. So I am making him an NPC and setting him free to wander the FLAILSNAILS Cosmos without me. If it's meant to be he will come back on his own.

Anil of MANPAC was born in Noism'sYoo Suin* game. He was rescued from some goblin things at the exact moment that another character died. His first rolls were for a random name and an random gender. He was a eunach. His name was Anil. His highest stat was a WIS of 14. He needed a god. After thinking for about 14 seconds, his player saw a nerd wearing a nintendo t-shirt across the room.

"His god is Pac-Man! No, wait, that sounds stupid. His god is MANPAC."

And so a legend was born.

From day one he made more money robbing the people who came to rob him than he ever did from getting up in dungeons. Assaulting bandits, hiding from pandas, lying to quaggoths, great days. Then Noisms moved away to get a better job. Anil arrived in the Cobalt Reach. A land built upon the backs of dead gods. He was level three.

In his first FLAILSNAILS game Jeff Rients charged a group of 18 webbed 2nd level mutants with Anil. Then got bored and ran off to joust a chaos knight. Shoe Skogen hung around and saved his life. He spent a lot of time at zero hit points. But he levelled the fuck up.

(As a list of adventures, briefly. Argued with bats. knocked out by jacklemen. Chased by zombie mastadons. Captured in echo palace. Starts shit in Echo Palace. Throws adopted son off ledge. Rescued by Zach Marx Webber. Finds THE PORTAL ROOM. Spends actual months of non-game time going on and out of the PORTAL ROOM. Finally gets to lowest level. Captured by driders. Tricks Driders with spell. Fights Mountain giant underground. Actually manages to rescue some dryads. Ends up in north pole via THE PORTAL ROOM. Goes back to cobalt reach via ship. Hears rumours of the missing Eye Of Vorn. Decides MUST pirate eye of dead god. Grabs Sir Mannings army. fights way out of Cobalt Reach. Gets to Abu Zin Zeer. Finds eye. Eye is now Mecha-Beholder-Golem. Eye Kills Chris H (Persistent voice of sanity) and petrifies Zach Marx Weber. Mission a bust. Goes wizardly Isle of Vrokk to de-petrify ZMW. Breaks into multiple wizards arcologies, meets daemon. Loses left hand. Tricks daemon, tricks mind-flayer, tricks wizard with mind-flayer. Escapes with macguffin. Gets ZMW de-petrified. Exchanges 'impossible' task for promise of new left hand. Completes impossible confidence scam of high-level wizard IN ONE SESSION, FLAWLESS. Still a high point. Goes to Vornheim, assists with defence of city. Sees Hex-King taken down (sort of). Decides to rob house of dead Lich. Buys own siege tower. Bats once again augmentative and annoying lodgers. helps eusyram retrieve fragment of crystal dream. Betrays everybody, see prev post.)

Now I send him unto you Internet. Let this PC pass be transformed by the holy fire onto an entry on a table, a random encounter or a plot point. My only rules for using Anil is that you have to be somewhat true to his god and somewhat true to him.

MANPAC charges endlessly through the dark consuming all he can before the ghosts reach him. He is chaotic, tending a bit towards good. At least his is not directly evil. He hates undead and consumes them wherever he can, especially ghosts. He likes to move his followers through realities or 'levels' and they have learnt to expect this.

Anil is stupid but amazingly crafty and lucky. He lies freely and sometimes brilliantly despite his CHA of 9. He often cycles through stages of mania and suicidal self-destructive depression. He has no patience of any kind for anything. He is deceptive, tricky and ruthless to what he considers 'bad' people. He has never gone out of his way to hurt any average or 'good' people without some kind of reason. If you save his life he will stick by you, even if you die or get petrified.

he looks like a squat vaguely asian man with a heavy build.

this is how he thinks he looks. he actually looks like a shit version of this.

You can't tell though because since he went insane from looking at a rug, he no longer believes he has a head. he can't sense it there so he wears an insect mask he got in Bellet Osc. That's how he knows where his head is.

and in fact he looks like this most of the time

He has a neck-tattoo of Harley Quinn committing suicide and another MANPAC tattoo. His left hand is a yellow and black banded starfish.

Currently wearing the plate-mail of a paladin of the Titan of Fear. He usually carries an axe and a bow and THIS.

the eyes follow you round the room, but never both eyes for the same person
This sooper-powerful luminescent heraldic lion shield is the best thing he has ever owned. It's probably worth more than he is.

So, armour, axe, bow, insect mask, starfish hand, tattoos, glowing lion shield. But in case that wasn't enough. he is driving a team of eight oxen and pulling his very own 80 ft siege tower made of bones and full of impudent bats.

again, his isnt actually this good

 He argues with the bats.

His stats are

STR 11
DEX 12
CON 10
WIS 14

Level Seven Cleric of Manpac
HP 35

he also has these things.

Obsidian Knife - counts as magic, does rituals
+3 Lion Shield
plate and sword from paladin of creus
20 sling stone
Skull of an undead horseman
Insect Mask from bellet osk
Long single fang - unknown nature
Goblin cake
five copper snake scales - giant coin sized
grappling hook
50ft rope
50ft chain
snail bridle (for giant snails)
80ft siege tower made of bone
a dozen oxen

There's one more thing. Anil accidentally drank the soul of a half-elf sorcerer called Orgun Greasgraft in the Hex Kings Palace. If Anil falls under the spell of mind-altering magics, or magical sleep, Orgun will become the dominant personality. And he will not give up the body willingly. He is an intelligent wily coward who likes not being in dungeons and not taking risks of any kind. His stats are

CHA 10
INT 16
WIS 16

Level three magic user, has the spells, Read Magic, Detect Magic, Message, Bookspeak and Levitate.

If you use Anil, or he turns up in your game, let me know what he does and what happens to him. I will update his history on this blog and we will see if anything interesting results.

*(Yoo Suin, coming to a download near you SOON)


  1. I can't believe Sir Manning gave up that shield. I hope it serves Anil of MANPAC well

  2. What a fantastic character!

    I've added this to my Best Reads of the Week series I've been doing. You're welcome to check it out at the following link:

    1. Thanks Chris, I do check it out occasionaly when its in my G+ feed.