Thursday, 9 November 2017

Fast & Furious - FQ Book 2 Canto 5

Pyrochles, true to his name and nature, doesn't fuck about;

"Approaching nigh, he never stayed to greet,
Nor chaffar words, proud courage to provoke,
But prickt so fierce, that underneath his feet
The smouldering dust did round about him smoke,
Both horse and man nigh able for to choke;"

And then just straight up charges Guyon. Guyon strikes but his blow glances off Pyrochles shield and CHOPS THE FUCKING HORSES HEAD OFF.

(Honestly, for a poem which has been multiply illustrated since its creation, there is a *lot* of really fucking violent action-movie shit and super-pervy stuff that no-one seems to have done. You could easily do an entirely-valid X-Rated modern illustrated version.)

Pyrochles goes down but comes right back up cursing Guyon for his dishonour and immediately cuts through the upper parts of Guyons shield, leaving an open gash in his helmet.

Guyon hurls 'high his yorn braced arm' and cuts down through Pyrochles shoulder plate;

"Yet there the steele stayed not, but inly bate
Deepe in his flesh, and opened wide a red floodgate."

Pyrochles is still the guy called Pyrochles so;

"Remembered he, nor cared for his safeguard,
But rudely raged, and like a cruel Tiger fared.

He hewed and lashed, and foined, and thundered blows,
And every way did seek into his life,
No plate, no mail could ward so mighty throwes,
But yielded passage to his cruell knife.
But Guyon, in the heat of all his strife,
Was wary wise, and closely did await
Avauntage, whilest his foe did rage most rife;
Sometimes a thwart, sometimes he strooke him straight,
And falsed oft his blows, t'illude him with such bait."

He were have a genre-classic 'hot vs cold' battle, like that other great piece of myth-making,

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith.

Eventually, Pyrochles is worn down and falls to a knee, then Guyon;

"That straight on ground he made him full low to lie;
Then on his breast his victor foot he thrust."

You know what this is a good time for? A lecture about Temperance;

"Fly, O Pyrochles, fly the dreadful war,
That in thy self they lesser parts do move,
Outragerous anger, and woe-working jarre,
Direful impatience, and heart-murdering love;
Those, those thy foes, those warriors far remove,
Which thee to endlesse bale captive lead."

Pyrochles tells Guyon that the only reason he was attacking was because Guyon had chained up an old woman and asks him to free Occasion and her son.

"Thereat Sir Guyon smilde,"

He lets Pyrochles free the pair. Things do not go well. Occasion starts shit again. Furor grows so powerful from the anger that he becomes unstoppable, he picks up Pyrochles, batters him and drags him through the dirt. Pyrochles calls for help;

"Helpe, o Sir Guyon, helpe most noble knight,
To rid a wreched man from hands of hellish wight."

Guyon is about to help when his Palmer stops him;

"He that his sorrow sought through wilfulness,
And his foe fettered would release again,
Deserves to taste his follies fruit, repented pain."



Now the mid-Canto scene-shift. Atin the squire of Pyrochles, thinks he died in the first exchange and runs straight off to Cymochles, his brother, who is a servant of Acrasia.

We find him in extremely pervy circumstances;

"In dainty delices, and lavish joys,
Having his warlike weapons cast behind,
And flowes in pleasures, and vain pleasing toys,
Mingled amongst loose Ladies, and lasciuious boyes."

Which I think is the first reference to homosexualtiy in the poem.

In this bower, even the plants are slutty;

"With nature, did an Arber green dispred,
Framed of wanton Yvie, flowering fair,
Through which the fragrant Eglantine did spread
His pricking arms, entrailed with roses red,"

We have a trickling stream, singing birds, and there;

"In secret shadow from the sunny ray,
On a sweet bed of lillies softly laid,
Amids a flock of Damzels fresh and gay,"

Is Cymochles. And yes we get a lot on the Damizels;

"Every of which did looslely dissaray
Her upperparts of meet abilitments,
And showed them naked, decked with many ornaments."

And every of them strove, with most delight,
Him to aggrate, and greatest pleasures show;
Some framed fair looks, glancing like evening lights
Others sweet words, dropping like honey dew;
Some bathed kissed, and did soft embrew
The sugred liquor through his melting lips:
One boasts her beauty, and does yield to view
Her dainty limbs above her tender hips;
Another her out boasts, and all for trial strips."

Cymochles is pretending to be asleep and perving on the girls;

"So, he them decieves, decieved in his deciet,
made drunk with drugs of dear voluptuous reciept."

Soon Atin arrives to ruin everything and Cymochles is off on a mission of revenge.

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