Tuesday 26 April 2016

Who Will Stop The Worlds Most Evil Dog?

This is my pitch for a prospective Level One adventure. It's also the entirety of my notes for the adventure. It's also as complete as the adventure is ever likely to be.

(an adventure for level 1 players)

I'm imagiing a small black dog that constantly foils the PC's

steals babies and runs off with them

breaks into houses and bites the noses off old women

extremely racist

an evil genius

sets up traps

lures you into bad situations

leads you into dens of criminals

hides in the bog and lures you in to drown

sometimes spasms and attacks own tail

steals burning torches and sets churches on fire

kind of wheezes and yowls insanely instead of barking

stampedes cows

jumps on horses and rides them, guiding them by biting

sends carts running out of control

steals rare and valuable things and leaves them in the PC's packs without them knowing

ends up setting a gigantic fire and escaping on the keel of an upturned boat that goes down the river

shits in the font

digs up fresh graves (it never seems to sleep) and runs off with wedding rings

drops pigeon corpses into the well, poisoning it

eventually ends up leading a pack of wolves through town

hides in the toilet, waiting for you

steals money and throws it in the river

steals magic items and throws them in the well

runs along rooftops, has learn how to use ladders and climb trees

confuses the lock-manager by killing the crowing cock that wakes them up, then imitating the sound at the wrong time, so they end up flooding the town

keeps the doctor awake all night by yowling outside his window

can scream like a cat

pisses in your bed, poops in your shoes

it will only poop in human shoes (this is its one weakness)

takes drugs when it can (another weakness) and drinks to a shameful degree (it never becomes incapacitated)

gestures with its eyebrows

can smell fear

thinks you're kind of a pussy

pushes old men under water wheels

thows dead cats in between the windmills grinding-wheels, ruining the corn

when the mill-wheels are taken out for washing, it removes the chocks and sents one rolling through town, smashing through walls

it uses this to break into the bank (it wants the money, which it will throw in the river)

people think an old man is master of the dog but he is terrified of it

you get sucked into its all-encompassing plan

it rules crime in this town, the thieves guild are all terrified of it

attacks pregnant women

spooks the shire-horses pulling the canal-boats through town and makes them pull the boats to one side so they block the canal and capsize

the mayor hired an assasin from the captial to kill it, the dog ate him an now wears his bloodstained cloak, the assassins guild refuses to believe this has happened and has sent another assasin to kill the mayor

the local wizard tried to remove the curse upon the dog, but there was no curse and the dog stole his spell book and dropped it in the well

the dog intends to blow up the brewery somehow

the local cultists tried summoning a demon to destroy the dog but the dog licked away part of their magic circle and the demon escaped and ate them

the demon is a little scared of the dog

at a wedding the dog jumped into the wedding cake and no-one could get it out

a widow of a colonel who retired in town has called up the guard but the dog has outwitted them at every turn

it seems to be everywhere

no-one will send help to the town as no-one will belive that its just a dog doing this and the townspeople are too scared to admit the truth

a small faction on the town council is considering putting the dog in charge, since it does what it wants anyway

people think maybe the PC's will help, but some think they are doomed and others, who still can't quite accept that its just a dog, think the real villian will eventually reveal themselves and that this might be the PC's

the town is consumed by paranoia, the existence of a 'dog-faction' has leaked out and a whispering campaign has divided the people, everyone is afraid that others might somehow be on the side of the worlds most evil dog


  1. Ugly muses yield good words.

  2. This is delightful. I should run this.
    It pleasantly reminds me of Murder Dog.
    I think my favorite bit is the pro-dog faction in town.

  3. So... What if a real dog is doing all of these things to me? Do you have any ways of stopping him? Ways to make it more convincing that a real dog is doing this around my town, instead of me? The police are starting to ask inconvenient questions...

  4. This is good stuff. I do feel that once you've had this as a '1st level adventure', you're sort of contractually obligated to bring the antagonist back for adventures when the PCs are higher level (which higher level? I guess, random dice table?).

    My offering for the list: Footprints. Maybe the players are tracking down someone or something entirely else, and at the end of the trail instead they find the dog, doing something smug and awful. Or, just its footprints appearing in places they shouldn't (like inside the player's loincloth), perhaps left in some horrible medium.

    1. Yep. You know those- ooh the demon takes the shape of your worst fear kind of effects... well it's gonna be that dog. Every time.

  5. This is clearly the work of a mad genius.

  6. I ran this for my party of Godbound characters with the addition of having a goal to matchmake some town members rather than just 'stop the dog,' 10/10 the Evil dog proved worthy of bedeviling the very gods as well as level 1 characters