Monday, 28 October 2013

I will do anything to avoid filling it in

No points at all if you can work out where I ripped these off from.

Otherpool Crime Gangs

Tokkys – Low, slumped thugalikes with heavy shoulders, bald heads and drooping arms. Love violence for its own self’s love. Other gangs start riots to pull a heist, they do a crime to start a riot, then roll in it from that point on. Scrap-tech experts. Everything they drive and use is kludged-by-hand from scrap and ruinated technology. Led by Lister from Red Dwarf.

The Hive – All female misandrist pregnancy-and-death cult. Dave Sim’s worst nightmare.  Gaunt girls in their hundreds on cult mind-control starvation diets. Swarm on you fearless of death and rip you to shreds with carbon-reinforced nails, undetectable to cops and not illegal anyway. Hive mother is a perma-pregnant Kathy Burke

The Aul-Fellahs – Spastic and terminal Alzheimer’s-gangsters wearing combat-hospice cyber gear. Staggering stiffly, in their NHS exo-suits. Brains wormed up from dementia and coke abuse. Semi-intelligent cortical upgrades blinking on the sides of their heads. Lemniscate mnemo-loops auto-flag the frontal lobes with who they are and where.It goes wrong sometimes or doesn’t remember stuff right. They can be hacked too. All irredeemably evil with experience of a lifetime of crime and harm. Terminal cases and uncaring of the end. Lead by evil Daniel Day Lewis from ‘My Left Foot’.

LIPA-nauts – Fey, pretentious hyper-beautiful art gang. Swanning around on superfast beautifully decaled silent motorbikes. All live in gated communities you can’t get into, or in Chester (daddy’s house). Like knifing people. Really good dancers. Tend to steal beautiful things and keep them because no-one else appreciates them. Lead by Ziggy Stardust. They are a crying race.

They have a black-clad drug-annihilation division. Homeless on a parasitic perma-couch-surf in other people homes. Don’t let them in.

Islanders – Refugees from.. somewhere. No-one sure where it was or exactly what ethnicity they are. Maybe an oceanic island chain, swamped by global warming. Super-optimistic though. ‘Accepting’ of ‘all’. Drive around in blocky cars. Tight family structure and creepy impenetrable caste system. Some kind of positivist pseudo-religion. Energy weapons and high technology. Futurists. Like hyper friendly Mormons meets the Hmong meets AIM. Lead by … what Mormons do I know? ‘evil’ Vincent Baker.