Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Motivations for the broken thing

I have been going through the monsters and re-writing them. Just got to Gilgamash, which is about half way. So, here is something to celebrate.

In case you forgot, the Gilgamash is this- 

A clanking patchwork of clay and stone. The rough form of a man formed by a hundred hands*. The statue pieces that make his body are ruined scraps from the fallen idols of cities lost beneath the earth.

The hands arranged to strike down gods that eyes were carved to see. The chest a daemons, weirdly shaped. One leg of marble made to hold up worlds, the other treading snakes as ancient foes. The curling serpents carried still upon the toes, and worn with endless tread but writing still. The nose, patrician emperors the chin, a saints, the hair, arranged from naiads, nymphs and fools.
Roll a three times  on this table to decide the background and motivation of the Gilgamash. No matter how much sense it doesn’t make, this is what it believes. All of it. Even the parts that contradict the other parts.

Re-roll whenever the Gilgamash suffers a critical hit. Its pieces have been re-arranged and it  now believes something new, and always has.

I am
Made by
I must
The Nightmare Lord of ancient Thebes the city on the border of dawn.
Fucking Beholder nearly turned me to stone! Thought I was a goner there! Managed to get away though, close one.
Stand watch over the borders of night and resist the cursed madness of the outer dark. (likes to watch you, or anyone, as you sleep)
The last remaining watcher in the Temple of Infinite Night
Unt-i-nata-pash-am who survived the great flood and knew the gods, learning his art from them.
Return to ancient Leng and take my place in the temple of my people to prevent its collapse. (Leng long gone)
The last true king of Githroz, brought low by secret enemies.
Carved by Han-Sho, scheming, lying bastard idol carver who left me hollow and my ancestors robbed!
Seek out the greatest of Liches and destroy them in mortal combat. THEN DRINK FROM HIS IMMORTAL SKULL IN VALHALLA!
The Goddess Ashrut of the Nine Graces and eleven awful vengeances.
Was hunting a medusa. Found her. Unexpectedly fell in love. Fucked around on her, she winked at me.
Ascend to daemon heaven on golden dragon wings and take my place next to my true love.
An enchanted Cataryd of Leng, necropolis of the dammned.
Brought to life by the desperate sorrow of my people as the temple I was part of was destroyed by barbarians.
At the bottom of the deepest ocean is a sunken ship, in the ship, a box, in the box, my heart. I must find it and destroy it so that I can finally die.
The Stone Claw of Demski, greatest of the Anti-Liche. Currently possessing these stone parts. Please address the hand.
Carved by a mad sculptor in one night under the influence of drugs, despair and dark magic. He hanged himself with a rope around my neck and his last breath was my first.
Seek out the dark tapestries of Thebes, then to assemble them into an hidden pattern to show the place of the last clue to the Crystal Dream of Asherak!
Tiamats true love, possessing the gift of eternal life and knowledge of all evil.
Don’t dick around with a wand of petrification in front of a mirror to look cool.
I have to get back to my family! Oh god my wife, oh my two little boys. Oh god I hate them so fucking much, I have to kill them before the end.
Ho adventurers, you address Bacchus, god of wine and song! Have ye wine? Have ye song? (cannot drink, cannot sing)
The steamy breath of a horny goddess who made love to a forbidden maiden in my temple, breathing life into me accidentally with her climax.
Find Han-Sho carver of idols in the city of Ping and cave in his lying skull with the hands he carved!
(Ping ruins for millennia)
Invader Nine, an extra dimensional probe enslaved to a distant aberrant mind that whispers constantly to me.
I laughed in Lloths temple and they forced a tiny stone spider down my throat and cast me out an  immortal warning.
Find the sinister White Beholder that tried to kill me and take its eye! And then its other eye! And again! Ecetera!
The Gorgon Lix! Gaze not into my eyes! Gaze not! (gaze has no effect)
I had sex with a blindfolded basilisk for a dare. It went fine but I got caught and the punishment for unnatural acts is petrification. By a basilisk.
Guard the weak and innocent from the cruel and abusive! Until they betray my trust by doing wrong. Then to crush them and move on.
Bran nine-fingers, just an adventurer like yourself. Having a bit of trouble at the moment…
Carved from burning obsidian by hideous alien minds to survive the awful transit between realities.
Learn the music that played before existence so that I may sing it to the stars and thence persuade them to water the earth with their tears (i.e destroy the earth by meteoric fire)
A noble and deceased ancestor of Kai Lung, whose name is Leng, of the city of Ping.
An evil dragon fell in love with me and, not wishing to ever lose my image, transformed me to stone.
I must never leave this place or the sky will turn to blue ice and fall in freezing torrents on the earth. Neither must anyone else leave this place.



  1. Excellent, Patrick. The mad sculptor is particularly nice.

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  3. I like anything that makes monsters empathizable* without making the PCs want to kill them less.

    So, kudos. I really like the "gotta get home to my family" one.

    *not technically a word