"Ok my backstory is that my parents were killed and I was raised by Dwarves" (who apparently named him after the city they lived in, Wiggleton) "but the corrupt dwarf king's men killed my dwarf dad and then I picked up a bar of iron from my fathers forge killed the kings guard and that's how I kind of became the ultimate person, oh, and I slept with the kings daughter."
Teen1 - "Do I have to take a WIS test every time I take a drink? I don't really feel like my characters an alcoholic."
DM- "I'll give you and Teen2 50 XP each if you can persuade Teen3 that it's a good idea to get drunk right now. Teen3 I will give you 100 XP if you can persuade them to stay sober."
30 seconds later
Teen1 - "If you take a drink now, I won't kill you."
Hold on! Do you think this monastery might be a very evil monastery?"
Two minutes after cutting the arms and legs off an undead monk in abandoned swamp-struck Hellmarsh monastery.
After a five minute discussion of the accuracy of scholarship surrounding the life of Jesus, the relative loyalty of Lizardfolk to a six-foot lunatic wearing enamelled plate mail with the Crown of the Lizard King gilded to the helmet, the poor conditions in the swamp around Hellmarsh monastery and the negative impact of human hypocrisy on possible re-settlement of an occasionally man-eating race because "we eat cows and nobody says we're evil.'
"It doesnt matter what the actual Jesus looked like. The Lizard Jesus can be a totally different thing. I can be Lizard Jesus wearing enamelled Platemail."
On the complaints of the relatively sane Teen3 when going through three separate doors in Hellmarsh Monastery with three separate characters.
"Come on, you know it's more fun when we split up."