Tuesday, 27 October 2020


Another 'Goosified' monster for 'Goose-Gold & Goblins'.

Dragons are rare and distant creatures of golden beauty and shining charisma, they rarely interact with ordinary folk, at least to my knowledge. They move amidst kings and great mages, chill with princesses and mighty heroes.

They look magnificent and noble flying in the air. In daylight their metallic bodies shine in gold, silver or gleaming red copper, or dazzling gemlike scales glisten like fields of rubies or sapphires catching the light, whether it be noon, dawn or dusk and blaze like rainbows or falling stars. 

Even at night dragons will catch the light of stars and moon, seeming a second sky within the sky, gout out blasts of flame, or breath plumes of moonlit fog as they pass overhead. Hurl themselves into the sky to pause shadowed and heraldic against the circle of the moon, roaring like a great flute.

Whenever a dragon flies overhead, all the animals hide, the birds fall silent and all the people come out to look; "Oh!" they say, "a Dragon! How magnificent! How fortunate we are!"

Everyone who missed seeing the Dragon feels bad about it the next day.


Close up, Dragons are not that huge, they often seem bigger due to their magnificence and because you can't really tell how big things are when they are distant in the air.

Up close they are about the mass of a really big shire horse, but that lengthened out and seeming large due to the wings and snapping tail. That’s pretty big really, especially compared to a human being, but not like.. super big, or inconceivably big. Just large.

Still a dragon could probably fight most living things and have a pretty good chance of winning. They are incredibly hard to hurt , to stab one you need to find a special spot in their armoured skin and these always have some insanely specific, yet also somewhat vague, rule or prophecy about when and how it will happen; "When the Gackling Moon shines upon Cold Moon Keep, the Dragon Voluthax shall fall".
They are pretty fast and can bite most bones. Most of them can breathe something weird, a lot of them know magic, or they just *are* magic, and most of them are pretty rich and so can afford the best lawyers, which they actually need a fair amount as they are also very, very, very high strung and are continually getting into dramas and scandals.


There are innumerable types of dragon; most of the primary colours, most gems, most metals, most unified environments, many natural phenomena. If you can think of it then there may well be that kind of dragon, and most of them have special powers or something, or at least a cool look.

You probably won't meet any of these dragons, and you definitely won't meet more than one of any type, in fact you probably won't ever hear about more than one of any single type, which seems odd. Still, they will introduce themselves *as* a type; "Yes, I am a Night Dragon, and this is what that means to me."


More powerful and beautiful than anything else, able to go wherever they like whenever they like, everyone is obsessed with Dragons, everyone wants to be around them or to be close to them. They are never really alone.

Dragons are shallow, narcissistic, deluded and, outside of the magic they were born knowing, not that smart. They border on being low-key insane and genuinely have no idea how normal people live or what they really do all day. Why would they? Whenever they encounter smaller beings, the meetings are invariably all about them.

They can go wherever they want whenever they want, but generally they only ever go to a small network of places, largely places other dragons go, (you can't go there), and have dramas and beefs with other dragons.

They really need unending attention, but all other dragons are as narcissistic as they are and, apart from being dragons they really don't have much to talk about. They are used to being admired not actually having interesting conversations. They don't really know anything in detail that isn't mainly about them, so once they have complemented each other on how amazing they are, neither of .them have much to say, so they tend to end up resenting each other, even hating each other.

Secretly they are all incredibly bored. They have nothing meaningful to do except wallow in luxury, fly about and spend time with other dragons, who they often do not like. They can get obsessed with what the other dragon does or does not have, like a unique fossilised dog or a hot new syrup contract. 

If another dragon like them is doing well, they are not happy. They will often try to scheme ways of knocking them down a peg or two, like hiring someone to steal that fossilised dog, or making them look a fool so they lose that hot syrup contract.

If dragons as a whole could be persuaded to work for the general good in some way then many of the worlds problems could likely be solved, but they can barely work with each other for more than a short while, and then only if it gets them incredible attention and wealth, and then they will flip out and storm off, (sometimes in a literal storm if they are a storm dragon), because some other dragon is getting more attention than them, or more praise, or a bigger cut.


There are a number of ways to encounter a Dragon. 

Classically, you might meet one out in the wilderness. 

Some Dragons are 'Evil' and some Dragons are 'Good'. 

The 'Evil' Dragons live out in the wilds, take things without asking, are served by Goblins, Men-Of-Bones and other creatures. They sit on a big pile of treasure and talk a lot about how dark and mysterious they are.

The 'Good' Dragons live a bit closer to town, usually send someone to pay when they eat a cow, (though they still do not ask beforehand), are surrounded by Knights, Ladies, lawyers, portrait artists, hangers-on and accountants. They sit on a big pile of (legally acquired) gold and talk about how bright and positive they are.

They live a very long time and so ultimately they probably own most things. Your landlords landlords banker might be a dragon, or more likely work for one, since Dragons don't really know much about anything.

So a Dragon might have something you need or want, or a power you want them to use, in which case you will have to get through the security and legal team around them to make contact.

Or they might take an interest in you, maybe they actually got your fan mail or something. Usually if they come to visit you they are accompanied by a personal bard, a reporter, a lawyer, some bodyguards (it’s for the publics own protection), a portrait artist, scale polisher and hype man (at a minimum). All of these people need to be accommodated and fed.

Also every local with some time on their hands will also turn up to meet the dragon, (obviously, I mean they get to meet a Dragon), also some long-term obsessive fans of the dragon will turn up specially, (they follow the dragon around), and possibly a mad stalker of the dragon also.

A Dragon might just decide to move in next door, or into a nearby cave or something, (they are trying to get away from all the DRAMA), but again, their lawyers and hype men, or goblins and men-of-bones, will need accommodating.


If people know you know a dragon, they ALL want to ask you about them. 

Some people will resent that you know a dragon - "You don't even really know them that well". Some will want you to help them get close to the dragon, and be angry if you won't assist them. Some will try to drag you into conflict with the Dragons enemies. If you say anything negative about the Dragon, or anything which could be taken as intimate, the next day those words appear taken out of context and publicised everywhere.

The Dragon contacts you, you don't contact them.

The Dragon flies over to vent to you about their troubles and THE DRAMA. You never seem to get round to your problems.

The Dragon might actually help you, especially if it makes them look good. If it does make them look good, your part in the events will be left out of things and the Dragon will definitely bring this up the next time they want something from you and you don't have time for them.

If the Dragon helps you and you stop being friends with the Dragon, either you have to pretend to keep being friends, or a tell-all interview with the Dragon comes out that makes you look like a leech. (Everyone believes this interview.)

You do get opportunities from knowing the Dragon. If you are seen together, your social status goes up a notch, people are more likely to listen to you, you are regarded as more important and given more respect. The moment the Dragon loses interest in you, all of this evaporates and people refer to you as so-and-so who used to help you the Dragon X.

The Dragon always loses interest after a while. Then, a long time later, they might turn up and act as if you are still friends, as if nothing has changed. 

You are expected to put up with this. Better not to cause a scene.


  1. The idea of dragon as commentary on celebrity culture is a nice touch for this setting

  2. I am wondering what happens if Dragon and Ratmaster meet. If anybody can withstand the glamour of Dragon, it is probably Ratmaster

    1. Might be a horrible partnership. A fair number of celebrity couples might be dragons and ratmasters.

  3. I feel like... this is... a metaphor. But I just can't picture it!