Friday, 26 July 2019

Grieving for Demon Tits

First they came for the nipples of the Keeper of Secrets.




And I said nothing, because I was not a Slaaneshi sex daemon.



Then they came for the nipples of the Sororitas Repentia.



And still I said nothing, for I was not a BDSM Space Nun.



But then, they came for my nipples.....




Ok, Games Workshop has not actually come for my nipples. And they didn't really take them off the Repentia, just made them put their tops on [BORING]. And the Slaaneshi six-titted sex-horses still have nipples.



(Which just makes it weirder in my opinion, like thats ok but not on the space nuns?).

Also the sex-horses only have four tits but that's less fun to write.

Also the new Keeper of Secrets really is much, much better than the old one, and still feels really pervy to an extreme degree.

Still, I feel aggrieved. When I was a young man, the world was a simpler place. You could wander into a Games Workshop store with your packet money, and come out with a metal-cast Keeper of Secrets model with one highly exposed and I think pierced nipple. You could throw in a squad of bald screaming space nuns wielding two-handed chainswords and wearing nothing but strips of parchment listing their sins.

It was a golden time, and a more innocent age.

Remember this Jes Goodwin you dammed COWARD?


We live now in an age of shame.

In todays aesthetically crippled moral universe, we are supposed to feel bad if a female Inquisitor puts high heels on her science-fictional power armour, we're supposed to feel bad about ritualised female secondary sexual characteristics replicated in servo-activated ceramite.

Yes, Xenocide, Genocide, auto-da-fe's and infinite pauldrons are fine, but heaven forfend you wear jimmy choos' on the battlefield, because that would be wrong.

Why? I honestly don't know. But the emotion is a strong one. People really, really really don't like this stuff. It upsets them. I think, to them, it seems dirty.

Its not too late to go back to a simpler time...


I would ask for reasons but I don't think and can really be given. Not true ones any way. It is a matter of feeling and moral intuition and the engines which drive these are always hidden from us, though blathering socio-political claptrap will aways present a series of rather tiresome arguments based on half-occluded facts which rest themselves upon awkward piles of assumption and ever more-occluded facts, all of them wrapped up in gloss and presented as 'common knowledge'.

In this fallen world, everything we know will eventually be taken away from us, demon nipples, Marneus Calgars dinosaur writing desk, the concept of the bolter round as a self-propelled micro-projectile, all shall pass.

All we can do is grieve for the demon nipples of our youth...

30 comments:

  1. Quick! Someone take his nipples before he blogs again!

    Seriously Patrick, you liven up our days.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "grieve for the demon nipples of our youth" is
    A. A new OSR hack/clone
    B. A new LotFP module
    C. The new name of your blog
    D. The new name of -my- blog
    E. The name of my new band.
    F. All of the above

    ReplyDelete
  3. Woah, woah, what happened to bolter rounds??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They've been drawn as cased standard gun rounds by so many artists that that is what they have effectively become in-lore. Yet another Great Betrayal.

      Delete
  4. It jars because it takes away from what GW has tried to describe Slaanesh as. A god of excess is not just a god of excess killing and pharmaceuticals, It's a god of the excess of EVERYTHING. Sex, shoes, writing, sleeping, farting.... everything. This politically correct current environment retards even this type simple stuff ad really takes away from it's roots.

    Might as well do away with nipples altogether.

    (And I miss my old pink and green Alpha Legion chaos marines being dedicated to Slaanesh. Just saying.)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Before you know it we'll have female space marines and gender-balanced, ethnically-inclusive Imperial Guard.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that sounds great to me. RE: the guard, they don't care so long as you're a human and can hold a lasgun. Canonically, mixed regiments already exist, they just don't have models.
      Female space marines would also be glorious.

      Delete
    2. It sounds terrible to me. Not because I don't like the idea of women in power armour kicking ass, but because it would be a huge break with decades of established lore & iconography. I also despise the push for samey-sameness everywhere that is behind much "diversity" talk. As if every imaginary universe needs to resemble an idealized early 21st century woke anglo-american university campus in terms of gender & ethnicity.

      Delete
    3. Well once they have the contents of our imaginations, the real world should be a breeze.

      Delete
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    ReplyDelete
  7. There are better ways to express your feelings about GW changing their art direction that drawing a direct parallel with Nazi Germany rounding up populations for extermination. This isn't even in poor taste. This is a disgusting trivialization of genocide over plastic soldiers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Sorry, was meaning to reply to the post itself, not you Ian W

      Delete
    3. Forget nipples. When did it stop being okay to reference "First they came for...."??????

      Delete
  8. Did you seriously spend time writing a post complaining about how nipples are being removed from your toy soldiers and thought "Hey wouldn't it be funny if I made a joke trivializing the Holocaust?"

    That's fucking vile, what the Hell were you thinking?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'ts a reference and a joke... and quite a commonly used one too. Can you explain how it is in any way at the expense of holocaust victims? Do you think Patrick thinks the issue he is talking about is in any way comparable to the holocaust? Or could he, instead, be being deliberately hyperbolic for comic effect?

      Grow the hell up.

      Delete
  9. First they came for people who referenced "First they came ..." and I said nothing because damn these commenters be crazy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. (this is Jason again, I just switched to using a different account) Seconded, or thirded

      Delete
  10. Meh... might it just be a question of different sculptors? Sculptor A wants a nipply rage-minotaur, sculptor B something that feels like an undersea cow person in one spike-stocking and sculptor C soem kind of giant harem lingerie demon? Same with the Sister - from repentance as SM gear to repentance as bio-mods and prison jumpsuit. If anything it's more the Imperium becoming contemporary American style fascism (as the explicit good guys) instead of some kind of 80's glimpse into fascism by way of men's adventure mags. The Sister is now more Guantanamo bay then Elsa Shewolf of the SS - but it's hard to see this as creeping purtianism or a loss of innocence, just that we are old, and the 80's aesthetic is gone.

    I don't disagree that we live in bereft times, but if there's a loss it's that GW is a multinational conglomerate instead of some punk rock games guys - and also that times and aesthetics change.

    ReplyDelete
  11. It's for the same reasons that you wouldn't use Chechnya's persecution of gay people in your alternate reality vampire game. It's too real. Nipples on miniatures, willingly or not, are part of a larger cultural discussion on sexism. It's impossible to include them without it being taken as a stance on that discussion.

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  12. Its ironic that the god of pleasure and sex has to cover up nipples. Wouldn't what is basically a sex god (a hedonistic sex god) be more about genitals anyway? The keeper of secrets with a giant slong that it uses an armoured spiked weapon. Literally fucking its enemies to death. Would certainly change the dynamtics of battles with uptight khornates, lol! Somehow I don't think the world is quite ready for the Slaneeshi to truly be themselves.

    And yet it was just the modest nipple that the Slaneeshi showed in battle, hardly the most lewd thing an army fresh from the most pervered hedonistic orgies in reality could come up with. Its sad they have to cover that up to now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. slaanesh=sex is kinda lazy imho.

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    2. well 'basically' was probably over emphasis, but I do think sex, sexuality, gender and gender expression are all central to the idea of Slaneesh, who is a deity of incarnated pleasure. The way that Slaneesh expresses gender is free from binary constraints and I would think Slaneeshi demons would be the same. Male and Female combined in different ways, changing as moods and needs altered, creating new and different sexual organs for novelty and necessity.

      Delete
  13. I don't know why I'm disappointed at those sex horses but I kinda am.

    ReplyDelete
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