Wednesday, 20 September 2017

DOCTOR HOG

DOCTOR DUROC HOG


STR 12, DEX 13, WIL 15, 12 hp

·        A fat Pig in a silver mask and a gentleman’s gear;
o   top hat, frock coat and cravat.
·        The mask is of a Maiden.
o   The maidens face is slightly cracked and so is Doctor Hog.

[Doctor Hog exists to threaten the characters but also to inform them, via his words and actions, about why they are here and what they should do.]


His Insane Ranting

·        “NOTHING CAN STOP THE TITANS RISE!”
·        “A GOD OF TIME! CONTROLLED BY DOCTOR HOG!”
·        “REALITY SHALL DANCE TO MY FUNGAL CLAVICHORD!”
·        “YOU WILL NOT FOIL MY PLANS AGAIN YOU CHRONAL FLOTSAM!”
·        (muttering) “EVEN NOW THE EGO-MACHINES YOU STOLE ARE RE-GROWING IN THE TITANS MINDS!”
·        “IN A CENTURIES TIME, THE TITANS WILL STIR ONCE MORE, AND HOG WILL BE READY!”
·        “CHURLS! HELPLESS AND IGNORANT WITHOUT YOUR LEADER!”
·        “OPEN THESE CHRIST-DAMMED DOORS YOU IGNORANT APE!”
·        “FIRST CHRONOS
o   THEN THE JUDGE OF SOULS
o   THE LORD OF SWARMS
o   THE SIMULATOR
o   THE ARK QUEEN
o   AND THE LORD OF ORBITS
o   ALL SHALL SERVE DOCTOR HOG!”
·        “THE POWERS OF A GOD! AND GREATER THAN A GOD!”
·        “YOU HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD MY DREAMS!”
·        “ONLY MY FUNGAL ANTS ARE TRULY LOYAL!”
·        “MEMORYLESS BRAWLING INCOMPETENTS!”
·        “YOU KNOW NOTHING OF OUR BATTLES! NOTHING OF ME! WHILE I KNOW EVERYTHING OF YOU!”
·        “AGAIN YOU CHALLENGE ME - THIS TIME – TO DIE!”
·        “WHERE ARE THE EGO MACHINES YOU STOLE? WHERE HAVE YOU HIDDEN THEM!?”




His Brain-Apes


Big Black Gorillas with Thompson Guns and Bowler Hats tied on with twine.

STR 16, DEX 7, WIL 6, 8 hp

They follow Doctor Hogs instructions, but, when separated from him, are quite stupid.

Thompson Guns

These go BRAKABRAKABRAKA!

Range
Damage
Effect
Very Close
d8
Blasts through non-modern armour.
Medium
d6
Takes a turn to force the gun on-target. Characters can leap back into cover.
Very Far
d4
Takes a turn to force the gun on-target. Characters can leap back into cover.

Brain Grenades

Iron Grenades in the shapes of human brains. When they explode they produce strange mental effects;

Hand-to-Hand

·        The Brain-Apes prefer to pick people up & THROW them into other people – d4 damage to each.
·        They can also SMASH for d6 damage.
·        Or pick someone up and USE THEM AS A CLUB for d6 damage.

Their Terrible Brains

·        Underneath their hats their skulls are cracked open from inside.
·        A horrid fungus is growing in their brain.
·        Silver ants are running all over the Fungus.
·        The ants themselves are infected with the Fungus.
·        If a Gorilla dies or its head is smashed, silver cordyceps ants boil from its mouth, nose, eyes and ears.
·        If the Fungus is seriously damaged, the Ape goes insane and becomes uncontrollable by anyone.




His Strange Weapons


Dimension-Gun
This ray-gun produces random effects which persist for d4 turns.
d4
Effect
1
Ghost Ray – Target immaterial. WIL test to affect the world
2
Jellification Ray – Target jellified. STR test to move most things.
3
Shrink Ray – Target 80% smaller.
4
Gravity Ray – Gravity reversed for the target.

Brain Grenades
Hogs grenades work like those of his Apes.

Fungal Clavichord
·        Hogs masterwork. A hideous, archaically-mechanical combination of clavichord, Babbage engine, brass syringe-typewriter, silver ant hive, cordyceps fungal reactor and Theremin.
·        Hog uses the strange music of the Clavichord to control his Brain-Apes.
·        It can send out strands and ropes of silver Cordyceps Ants like tentacles.
·        He will protect this above even his own life.

·        It’s not clear who is actually in charge, Hog, or the Machine..

3 comments:

  1. Oh my. How difficult is it for non-gorillas to use the Thompson guns?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Another empty hex in my ASE campaign gains an inhabitant. Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Machiavelli: The Prince" (a multiplayer turn-based trading) computer game kicking about in the mid-90s, had some fun "slanders" in it. The above rants reminded me of these "slanders" an oblique way.

    A first player could initiate a "slander" of second player and blame a third player for the slander.

    The slander would start with "Someone said that [player's name]" ... followed by one of the 40 phases below:

    :: LIKES to wear tights.
    :: is a REAL pocket fisherman!
    :: sleeps with servants!
    :: has the manners of a Viking!
    :: drinks canal water!
    :: coins slanders like a mint.
    :: thinks the world is ROUND!
    :: is the son of siblings!
    :: would sell his Ma for a Fl. [Florin]
    :: spreads vicious lies!
    :: is a heathen scoundrel!
    :: is a rot-eating bastard!
    :: is an eater of worms!
    :: practices sorcery!
    :: is an amoral cad!
    :: is a reckless libertine!
    :: SUCKS!
    :: has a nasty, fishlike smell.
    :: is an instrument of Eeevil!
    :: is a pestilent knave!
    :: is subtle and treacherous!
    :: is a pickel brain.
    :: is a botchers apprentice!
    :: is a pagan Heretic!
    :: a muddy mettled rascal.
    :: is gross and fat as butter.
    :: is heir to a mongrel bitch!
    :: is a WITCH! BURN'EM!
    :: has hairy palms.
    :: is a big goof!
    :: is a bubou on a yak's ass!
    :: bathes regularly!
    :: stuffs his codpiece!
    :: is TOO friendly with animals.
    :: is a Momma's boy.
    :: traffics with Lawyers!
    :: is a Genoese bastard.
    :: plots betrayal with Turks!
    :: traffics with the Deviiil!
    :: is a harlot's son!

    You probably had to be there!

    ReplyDelete

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