Monday 9 May 2016

Old-School Queen Class

This is my attempt at a Queen class for LotFP and other Old School games, based on the Queens in Christine de Pizan's 'City of Ladies'. (It's mainly the crafty, sneaky version, the martial version would be a different thing I think.)

A Queen gains levels like a Thief.

In LotFP a Queen has a 5 in 6 capacity in two unique skills; King-Secreting and Cross Dressing.

King Secretion - If the Queen has her King (see below) with her, she is an expert in secreting or disguising him in almost any conceivable manner or way so long as it is at least vaguely within the bounds of reality. She might dress him as a maid, hide him in a log or carpet or almost anything else.

Cross Dressing - If she has the clothes or materials with her, the Queen can disguise herself as a man with an incredible degree of effectiveness. All the negative effects of her beauty will still be in effect and will now apply equally to both genders though some would-be paramours may be too confused or repressed to immediately act on their feelings.

Though she has no spells, during play she can learn to cast Ritual magic in settings where that is a thing.

Every Queen is Queenly, Feeble and hot.

Every Queen comes garbed in the robes of Queendom and is clearly identifiable as a Queen if she wishes to be so. If she acts and speaks in a Queenly way no one reasonable will doubt her status or nature.

Weak and Feeble*
A Queen rolls 2d6+2 for her Strength, she does this regardless of what any other character is rolling, whether male or female.

So long as she is declaring herself as a Queen she never has to roll for high-status treatment from any civilised people. She always has Charisma 18 from simply being royal though for  the precise nature of her beauty, roll a d6;

1. Afflicted.
2-3. Beautiful.
4-5. Superlative.
6. Renowned.

An Afflicted Queen has some minor but strange physical flaw like a second row of teeth or a lazy eye. This is looked on by most people with deep sympathy and the Queen is well thought of for bearing with her affliction. She is treated like a normal person of high status and rolls charisma tests as normal. She is not excessively bothered by mad knights, transformed demigods, pervy wizards or fucking bards.

A Beautiful Queen can test her CHA against large groups like armies & mobs  and against otherwise hostile people, like assassins sent to kill her.

A Superlative Queen can also test her CHA against otherwise automatically-hostile monsters.

A Renowned Queen can also test her CHA against natural forces & divine beings.

Any Queen more beautiful than afflicted cannot fail a Charisma test against a male (and 5% of females), they simply get unwanted effects. If a Queen rolls a fail on a CHA test against a man (or an army, assassin, monster or natural force) then roll on the table below using a die size depending on the Queens beauty level. (With women roll normally and roll below if a 1 is the result or of they are clearly gay.)

Beautiful - d4
Superlative - d6
Renowned -  d8

1. They proposition the Queen OR a Bard arrives whichever is worse.
2. They stalk the Queen.
3. They Declare Their Love OR a Knight appears and does the same, whichever is worse.
4. They propose marriage. If the target is already married, they promise to divorce, if the Queen is, they may try to kill her husband.
5. A Jealous Spouse or Partner arrives.
6. They try to abduct the Queen or a Creepy Wizard arrives and tries the same, whichever is worse.
7. A Fight Breaks Out OR they attempt suicide from thwarted desire, whichever is worse.
8. It's a rapey transformed demigod trying to bone the Queen. If this has happened before then it's the same one as last time.

Queens generally have both a King and a large amount of treasure..

The King!
A Queen never does anything for herself, she does it all for the King. She either has the King and is trying to get them back on the throne or she is looking for the King to then get them back to the throne. The King is (roll a d12);

1. Ancient Father - lost
2. Ancient Father - banished
3. Ancient Father - imprisoned
4. Ancient father - He's here and he's an idiot
5. Small Child - very small, he's 5.
6. Small Child - stolen by witches/a goddess/elves.
7. Small Child - she's 8 months pregnant.
8. Grown Child - He's an idiot.
9. Husband - with her, he's an idiot.
10. Husband - imprisoned somewhere.
11. Husband - ensorceled by a witch somewhere.
12. Husband - lost on quest.

If a Queen is found committing any non-lethal crime and its clear she is doing it to protect the King, in any civilised society, she will get away with it. In fact most people will applaud her for her bravery. Sometimes this can even apply to lethal crimes, if she can give a good speech about it.

Treasure Train
Every Queen begins the game with a large amount of treasure made up of heavy chests of gold and silver, precious tapestries, paintings, delicate china, furniture, an extremely rare and entirely untameable animal in a cage, at least one large musical instrument like a piano and, of course, a crown. This is found, with the Queen, lying on the side of the road.

To begin with this treasure is worth 100,000 gp. Gaining this treasure does not help PC's gain XP but all PC's who assist the Queen collectively gain 1% of the treasures value in XP for very day they keep it in her hands.

She has no-one to help carry it.

Someone is usually after this treasure, (probably the usurpers, see below) if they aren't now, they will be soon.

Every Queen comes from a real and identifiable Kingdom somewhere on the edge of the map. She has been usurped by one of the following;

1.Evil Uncle.
2.Democratic Mob.
3.Hot Sorceress.
5.Dragon or equivalent.
6.Creepy Theocracy.

The usurpers have agents after her and will have to be defeated if she is going to get her Queendom back.

*It's a quote, look it up.


  1. This, sir, is amazing. I am grateful to have read it.

  2. The usurpers are a particularly delicious flourish.

  3. I believe the term is "King Secreting" rather than "King Secretion" which refers to a different Royal Issuance...