If anyone does actually use this stuff playing with their kid or anything then let me know.
Intro
Races
Prizes
1. Sculpt-U-Like Nanotech.
It’s
blu-tac. Make anything you can sculpt and attach it to your car.
2. Carbon-Lattice Flexi-Bands.
Flexible but unbreakable attachment technology.
Rubber
bands
3. Monkey Caravan.
Does what
is says on the tin. Potentially very dangerous camper van full of
uncontrollable level one unarmed fighters.
4. Cyclone Breaks.
Super-adaptive vortex engine not only stops your
car but all cars on your tail.
Car can
handbreak turn at any speed. To activate, blow strongly over top of car against
direction of travel, any other cars behind that move under your breath are
automatically stopped and moved back.
5. Wizard Clutch.
Rumoured to be made from real wizards.
Once per
game the car can move from any seed to any other speed without accelerating or
breaking. Every other car on the field will shift to the same speed.
6. Expulsion Lamps.
Beams of alien light blast cars and terrain out of
the way, sometime lights explode.
You can
reach down, and flick, with one finger, anything directly in front of the car.
Explodes on a 5-6 with each use.
7. Tree Gears.
Ultra-high tech eco-freak creation engine, now
re-purposed as car parts.
Gearbox
plants instafast tree at axis of move whenever handbreak turns are used. Tree
remains in-situ.
8. Block Sabre.
Extendable electron-bladed pseudosamurai
plasma-sword, cuts inanimate blocks like cartoon cheese.
On a
drive-past, the wielder can slice open any piece of stationary terrain that the
player can rip apart with their bare hands.
9. Rice Machine.
Expanding antiriot granules-of-peace, weaponised
to get drivers killed.
User may
dump a handful of rice anywhere adjacent to their car. Anyone crashing into
rice suffers no damage but can no longer take violent action during race, has
to clean car.
10. Xenon Cop Lights.
Flashing lights from ruined ship, rumoured to be
trans-dimensional cop craft.
When lights
active, megaphone orders of user must be followed, however they are garbled
beyond comprehension by the alien rays. If you have enough people, use game of
Chinese whispers to garble orders. If less people, write each word of order on
separate scrap of paper, had them to target player. They may re-arrange however
they wish, but must obey result.
11. Flags of Resentment.
Overdesigned banners detailing petty hates of
crew.
Each flag
counts as a blow against one particular enemy of that crew. Detail the
particular resentment for that banner. Finishing a race or challenge in which
that crew participated with the banners still intact, moves you up one position
against them. If they manage to take the banner during the race, they move up
an extra position against you.
12. Lightning Cage.
Crazy looking cage of brass wires and arcing white
zigzags, vomits lightning in all directions on activation.
Sniper-equivalent
damage to anything metallic for three inches around car. Use shuts down engine
for a turn. Freezes controls.
13. Storm Gun.
Frightening howitzer fires active storms on
ballistic trajectory.
Once per
game, user may throw medium-sized (bigger than a sock, smaller than a jacket)
piece of clothing in direction of cars travel. Storm remains in situ for rest
of game. Dangerous to drive over/through.
14 Orchid Render.
Collapsed-dimension pocket-space secured to top of
car. Annihilating waves of beautiful energy spin round chassis.
Put the
head of a large flower on top of your car. Any enemy car that touches the
flower is destroyed. Effect lasts till flower falls off.
15. Psycophone.
Beatboxing twisted rhythms through this non-Euclidian
megaphone forces hears to cough up their guts.
Any car
hearing the beatbox sounds is paralysed for a number of turns equal to its crew
as everyone inside simultaneously shouts out their deepest secrets and argues
about them.
16. Spasm Waggon.
Eyeburning chunk of twisted hyperlogic recovered
from disaster core must be towed behind car like a caravan.
When
attached, the spasm waggon can swap places with any car in view of the user.
Put the target car right behind yours where the waggon was and the waggon in
that cars previous position.
17. Rain Turbines.
These car-mountable jet engines suck in dry air
and spew out rain, and visa-versa.
In dry conditions this engine creates a patch of wet, slippery ground and low visibility directly behind the car. In wet conditions, it adds one to the cars speed but creates a patch of dry ground and no rain directly behind the car.
18. Dream Drive.
Lynchian madness engine powered by the
subconscious of user.
Dream Drive
must be powered the night before race by being plugged into the drivers skull.
Empties his head of dreams. Adds one to speed during race. Driver will
go insane after a randomly determined number of rounds. Results of madness
decided by other players.
19. Brain Valves.
Repurposed scrap-tech injection valves,
preternaturally aware of drivers needs. Damaged veterans of the Psychic Wars.
Unstable.
Brain
valves add one to manoeuvrability. If fired upon, will enter combat-flashback
on a 5-6. All drivers on track start screaming and move directly towards
nearest terrain for one turn.
20. Thunder Button.
Mjolnir-fragment flintlocked to a semi-aware
weather AI, causes thunder on activation.
Player may
jump up and down on ground near cars in hopes of causing useful re-orientation.
Any damage to track is their responsibility.
21. Annihilation Pedal.
Questionable pedal briefly destroys all space and
time. Reality reappears moments later. Somewhat altered.
User may
move and re-orientate as many pieces of scenery as they want however they want.
For each piece roll a d6. A roll of 5-6 means that an unexpected effect has
occurred. Something else on the board must be moved by the next player. Roll
another d6, on a 5-6 it happens again for the next player along. Keep rolling
till a 1-4 is rolled
22. Skeleton Trunk.
Where to the skeletons come from? Hah. No-one ever
asks this. You meet the guy in a darkened bar. You hand him the money and go
for a walk. When you get back, the trunk is full. You don’t check it. You know
they’re in there.
The trunk
of your car is full of angry skeletons. At any point during the race you may
pop the trunk and spew skeletons over all nearby rear-facing area’s. d6
skeletons hit each car and count as level one berserkers.
23. Surface-to-Earth-Worms.
Meat-Seeking wormpedoes can be bought in the
travelling markets of the bus-rank archipelago, up around transmission point.
There use is controlled. Mainly by the fact they sometimes eat the person
firing them.
Surface-To-Earth-Worm
are kept rolled up in giant nautaloid tubes on the side of the car. When fired,
the car must be facing towards its target. The worms will travel any distance
underground until they sense meat, then rise up. They arrive at the beginning
of the next turn of the firing player. They roll 4d6 for damage but only ever
eat crew, the don’t damage the car. If the target moves somehow and is no-longer
the closest to them, they will attack whomever is closer.
24. Heliovoric Charge.
This fractal-impacted mystery rocket can only be
used once, it fires directly up into the sky and turns off the sun for the rest
of the day.
Activating
player can create night conditions for rest of race, plus they can turn off the
lights in the room and close the curtains if they want to.
25. Quantum Crank.
This Escher-space engine crank moves through
impossible positions when activated.
When used,
the crank changes the momentum and engine direction of the car without any
inertial effect. This turn, the car may move sideways in either direction
exactly as if it was moving forwards. There is a 1 in 6 change of reality
twisting and the car changing positions with a randomly selected other car.
26. Paralytic Converter.
This psychotropic chemical vortex converts engine
fumes into ennui.
When active
it leaves a gas trail the size and shape of a spare sock behind the car. Anyone
entering this zone must take their foot off the pedal and stare blankly until
things make sense again. (One round.) If the car takes damage though, the
converter may misfire and fill the car with depression.
27. Leaf Blades.
Giga-leaves retrieved from the heaven-scarring
paradise tree at the cost of many lives make excellent ramming-prows in the
ring. They do shatter though.
Jam a
pointy leaf on the front of your car. This ultra-sharp diamond-hard blade will
inflict 6d6 damage on a ram, then shatter, doing another 1d6 damage to all
nearby cars, including yours.
28. Skull Bumpers.
Chromed terminator skulls from a failed robot
uprising add sweet bling to any ride.
They still
track movement and human targets, communicating information with old-school
internet moans. Add plus one to either an evasion or targeting roll each turn.
29. Fractal Treads.
Oddly patterned tyres whose surface is technically
infinite.
You can now
drive up/on vertical surfaces for up to three turns at a time.
30. Cash-Bomb.
Fires cash money onto racing area, ensures pitch
invasion by Fanimals.
Hurl change
from your pockets onto the pitch. Fanimals and mindless opponents will try to
retrieve the money.
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