Ye Ugly Face Clubb

I did not make this shit up.

These are ten members of the Liverpool Ugly Face Clubb, popular in the 18th century, the club was funded mainly by the fines of its members. If one got married they had to cash-out.

I have kept the spelling and punctuation in place as much as possible.

Members Names	Qualifications
Jos Farmer Merch	Little Eyes one bigger than y’ other Long Nose Thin Lanthorn Jaws. Bare upper Lip. Mouth from Ear to Ear resembling a shark’s. Rotten Sett of Irregular Teeth wch are sett off to great Advantage by frequent laughing. His Visage long and narrow. His looks upon the whole extraordinary, haggard, Odd, Comick, and out of y’ way. In short, possessed of every Extraordinary Qualifications to rend him y’ Phoenix of y’ Society, as the like won’t appear again this 1000 years.
Capt Robt Reid,    (Dead).	Tawny Complexion. A very low Forehead. Wild Furious Eyes. Monstrous Long Nose resembling a Speaking Trumpet. Prominent Lips. Short Chin. Thin Visage wch when he Laughs or Grins resembles a Plough’d Field full of Furrows or an Old Woman -------- herself.
Jno Brancker    (Dead).	Jewish Sallow Phiz A very Prominent uneven Nose. Little Hollow Pig Eyes. Rotten irregular Set of Teeth resembling an old broken Saw. On the whole very much like the Picture of King Pepper, inexpressibly Odd and Ugly.
Wm Long, London	Rugged Face. A very Prominent large Nose. An extraordinary wide Mouth. No upper Teeth. A large under Lip. A prodigious long Chin, meeting his Nose like a pair of Nut-crackers. An extraordinary Member.
Capt. David Maitland, of Hon. Major-General Irwins Regiment, 1745.	A long thin Visage, Sallow Complexion, Lanthorn Jaw’s, a long thin Nose, a rugged phiz, and a queer Grin, and belongs to Pharoah’s lean Kine
Matthew Strong, Mercht.	A Tawney Complexion. A Sharp Nose. A Flook Mouth. Irregular bad Set of Teeth like those of an old worn-out Comb thoroughly begrim’d. A ghastly queer grin and Countenance, greatly set off by a long Carotty Beard
Capt. Nicholas Southworth.	A fine yellow Guinea Complexion. Large Nostrils, Negro Nos’d. Hollow Forehead, Long pucking Chin, in y’ whole resembles Thom Thumb in a Pupit Show.
Capt Blackstock Jan. 1756.	A long narrow Visage. An excellent carved face. A very steady Countenance. An odd Grin and wry mouth, upon the whole a true mosaic face
Capt. Sam Stewart, of Liverpool, July 23, 1750	A mahogany Complexion, deep furrowed cheeks, a hawks bill, Turtle Nose, Shairks Mouth, A blinkard, a Japanzey Grin, and withal fitly qualifyed in every feature for this honourable Society.
The Revd. Mr Thos. Mallory, LL.B., Apl. 28th, 1756	A vicar of Bray’s Face well set off with assine and merry grin, a Rogish Eye, white Eyebrows, a good Smoker, and well qualified Chaplain to the Club