In a late and desperate attempt to shore up my ‘relevance’ I have been scouring the internet for evidence that I exist, and have stumbled into the tragic gap left by the lost ‘Great Crystal Debate’ DOES ANYONE EVEN HAVE A COPY? If you would like to find out more, scan down the following chronological list of text, video and audio discussions, down to 2018…
2015 – Podecast
Podecast 1 - the Experiment
I honestly have no idea what is even in this. Its eleven years old!
Podecast 2 - MONSTERS
https://archive.org/details/ScrapAndPatrick2a
Contents include; Rhiannas new video. Ghosts and why they hold candles. Skeletons and skeletor - egyptian theories of the dead. He-Man. Gas-Spores. Nazi Aurochs. “I’ve been around some pretty smelly subcultures.” Eating living things. Godzilla. Forbidden Planet. Imperialism and microbiology. Scrap fades in and out around this point for mysterious reasons. Possible collaborations. Natasha Allegri. Stephen Pyne. The state of modern poetry. The Art of Not Being Governed.(He wasn’t a poet.)
Podecast 3 - BEAUTY
Contents; http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/news/72404517/judges-take-a-shine-to-wow-winner.
Zak hates nature. Snails. “The child of love and war is sex”. A thick silky
coffee with cardamon. Crepuscular Rays. kelvin helmholtz.
http://www.pncc.govt.nz/media/32138/citizensadvicebureaulogo.jpg
http://www.firstlighttravel.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Maori-Rock-Art.jpg
Podecast - 4 BEES
Contents; 1.20 Scrap starts rambling about
chromosomes. - (seriously, think about skipping this part). 4.26 Gives up on
that and starts again. Begins a very dark story about Bees. 8.00 King Arthur
and Bees. 9.55 The Demiplane of British History. 13.25 Brief ramble here. 13.40
Other Planes, verticality. 14.50 Hook Birds. 15.25 Dinosauroids -
http://povorot.deviantart.com/gallery/9348116/The-Dinosauroids. 15.35 The first
few issues of Prophet. (I think these are in fact the same guy.) 16.35 “Bees,
have to get this back to bees..” 17.20 Evolution of pollen, and therefore bees.
17.45 Exploiting colony organisms. Pretending to be ants. 20.10 We are colony
organisms. 21.20 The nihilism of not cleaning your room. 21.45 Emergency coping
mechanisms. 23.09 Sudden change in conversation due to girlfriend interruption.
The Death of Avril Lavigne. 24.24 Schizophrenia. The voices are probably real.
Believing you are in the matrix. 26.13 “That’s kind-of like a hive..” 26.45 In
stories no-one can ever be competent. 28.15 Destroying a city with super-speed.
30.15 The delay between conception and creation. 31.00 Cut-Up
2016 - Doom of the Podecast
Podecast 5 - relate-able content
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https://archive.org/details/Podecast5
Podecast 6 The Wonderful Kererū
The Wonderful Kererū appears only once in this Podecast
but exemplifies the spirit of both participants, a fat, pompous, ridiculous
animal snatching a whole twig from the tree of thought, eating a single flower
and then throwing the rest away.
Contents; 0.07 - VotE. 2.38 - Weightlifters with
no penises. 3.37 - Do you want to talk about pre-history? (We do not do this.)
4.36 - I cut a huge amounts of blathering out here. 5.00 - Scraps game. 7.10 -
Complexity and depth. 9.30 - Scrap has a moment of clarity about the nature of
Complexity. 11.10 - Where it actually starts to get interesting. 11.50 - The
capacity of a post-apocalyptic world to create its own context. 13.10 - A new
place to put adventures. 13.45 - “What’s his face? The guy who does Udan-Adan?
We’ll probably never know his real name.” 14.15 - Our regular obligatory
mention of Zak. 15.50 - Who did invent ‘the dungeon as a living thing? 17.28 -
A Ghost in my house. 18.30 - The ‘blank slate’ game world & identity. 20.43
- Eve as the first D&D player, Adam as a Storygamer. 22.28 - Rachel
Pollack’s ‘Unquenchable Fire’ I got the name wrong in the podcast. 24.26 - Our
other regular segment on colonialism. 26.16 - Mention of Potatoes causes
internet to drop out. 28.10 - It’s ‘Henry Moreton Stanely’ and I may well be
wrong about Cortez. Have fun with Wikipedia. 31.45 - “You’re treating those
children like subhumans.” 33.41 - Scrap is confused by the moral exchange
inherent to Government. Sarah Horrocks would probably agree. 38.15 - “If only
one culture has reliable deep-water navigation, that culture is effectively
playing D&D with the world.” 39.45 - Cowboys on Mars. 41.53 - We expand our
mentions of Zak to include his sister? Anyway, X-Men school-style Character
Gen. 47.39 - Communicating on a Meta-Level. Maybe our players are friends.
49.15 - MY SPECIAL SETTING!! 51.00 - We cycle back to, or around, different
contexts in which to place adventures.. 52.00 - The ancient civilization of
Dan. 55.09 - The Halfmen of O by Maurice Gee. 56.55 - The Changeover by
Margaret Mahy. 58.45 - Does the Conspiracy Theorist have a D&Dish world?
No, not really. 60.01 - Pre-apocalyptic D&D. 60.03 - Stealing & faking
art throughout history. 60.05 - Dirtbag Greys. The Burke & Hare of space.
60.07 - Changes in scale. Insect wars. 60.08 - The Author was ‘William Tenn’
and the book is Of Men and Monsters. 70.45 - Giants would be very vulnerable,
and likely peaceful. 72.55 - The wonderful Kererū or New Zeland Wood Pidgeon.
(A bird that flies through the glass in your window is also playing D&D).
76.00 - “Birds would be good D&D characters.” 81.00 - Evil Dolphins.
2017 - VotE!
The Secret DM — Veins of the Earth Interview with Patrick Stuart and Scrap Princess
What Would the Smart Party Do? — Episode 80
http://media.blubrry.com/thesmartparty/content.blubrry.com/thesmartparty/WhatWouldTheSmartPartyDo_80.mp3
Page: https://smartparty.wordpress.com/2018/09/13/patrick-stuart-interview/
Back in 2018 I was making my (negative) views on CRYSTALS
widely known, when who should step forth to challenge me but the fool and
creator of the BREAK! RPG, Reynaldo Mandarinian. To settle the matter for All
Time, we got into a SAVAGE hour long verbal dual which, since there seem to be
no copies surviving online, I will assume I won.
The Great Crystal Debate!
The missing interview!!
If anyone out there has any records or copies of the Great Crystal Debate, please let me know in the comments. The world deserves to hear my (assumed) victory, and how crystals were defeated for All Time.
2019 - The Worm!
Ignite Liverpool — Talk on the Wapentake
I am slightly embarrassed to see myself physically
incarnated in maybe my only physical in-person talk.
https://youtu.be/nr4KKZMpf6Q
Those of you familiar with ‘Silent Titans’ will know
about the ‘Wapentake of Wirral’ from that book, based on a real historical
incident in which a corrupt lawyer got his hands on the medieval documents
giving ownership of a dark age court and used them to form a criminal gang and
extort the people of the Wirral.
The Worm Orouboros with Tom Fitzgerald
In this interview the beloved creator of ‘Middenmurk’, sits down to talk with me about the excellent and under-discovered ‘Worm Ouroboros’ by E.R. Eddison. (One day I will read the Zimiamvia trilogy).
2020 - DCO ReMastered
Loco Ludus — "Interview with Patrick Stuart"
I have no idea what we talked about, but its 55 minutes
long!
https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/loco-ludus/episodes/Interview-with-Patrick-Stuart-ebgc3h
Henrik Möllers podcast is still going strong. In
this one I think we talked mainly about Veins of the Earth.
‘Udda Ting’ podcast
The Magniloquent Moth
2021 - Groan!
Appendix N Book Club
I actually remember this one and it was fun! I finally got
to talk about something other than my own books! This is all about Gormenghast.
Zock Bock Radio
-
Apparently I am, (or was?) the Townes van Zandt of the OSR. I don’t know what that means but I will assume its good! Show notes in the link!
Monsters and Manuals (Noisms), Video Interview
2021 -Demon-Bone!
Weird & Wonderful Worlds
Ahh blessed text.
http://weirdwonderfulworlds.blogspot.com/2021/08/patrick-stuart-false-machine-interview.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yClMXIjlrM&t=244s
Her Christmas Knight
Whose Measure God Could Not Take
This one covers the Demon-Bone Sarcophagus Kickstarter,
Gawain and the OSR community.
2022 - The End!
" Art" with Her Christmas Knight
Then, Silence
(Seriously if anyone has a copy of the Great Crystal Debate let me know.)
