DOCTOR DUROC HOG
STR 12, DEX 13,
WIL 15, 12 hp
·
A fat Pig in a silver mask and a gentleman’s
gear;
o top
hat, frock coat and cravat.
·
The mask is of a Maiden.
o The
maidens face is slightly cracked and so is Doctor Hog.
[Doctor Hog exists to threaten the characters but also to
inform them, via his words and actions, about why they are here and what they
should do.]
His Insane Ranting
·
“NOTHING CAN STOP THE TITANS RISE!”
·
“A GOD OF TIME! CONTROLLED BY DOCTOR HOG!”
·
“REALITY SHALL DANCE TO MY FUNGAL CLAVICHORD!”
·
“YOU WILL NOT FOIL MY PLANS AGAIN YOU CHRONAL
FLOTSAM!”
·
(muttering) “EVEN NOW THE EGO-MACHINES YOU STOLE
ARE RE-GROWING IN THE TITANS MINDS!”
·
“IN A CENTURIES TIME, THE TITANS WILL STIR ONCE
MORE, AND HOG WILL BE READY!”
·
“CHURLS! HELPLESS AND IGNORANT WITHOUT YOUR
LEADER!”
·
“OPEN THESE CHRIST-DAMMED DOORS YOU IGNORANT
APE!”
·
“FIRST CHRONOS
o THEN
THE JUDGE OF SOULS
o THE
LORD OF SWARMS
o THE
SIMULATOR
o THE
ARK QUEEN
o AND
THE LORD OF ORBITS
o ALL
SHALL SERVE DOCTOR HOG!”
·
“THE POWERS OF A GOD! AND GREATER THAN A GOD!”
·
“YOU HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD MY DREAMS!”
·
“ONLY MY FUNGAL ANTS ARE TRULY LOYAL!”
·
“MEMORYLESS BRAWLING INCOMPETENTS!”
·
“YOU KNOW NOTHING OF OUR BATTLES! NOTHING OF ME!
WHILE I KNOW EVERYTHING OF YOU!”
·
“AGAIN YOU CHALLENGE ME - THIS TIME – TO DIE!”
·
“WHERE ARE THE EGO MACHINES YOU STOLE? WHERE
HAVE YOU HIDDEN THEM!?”
His Brain-Apes
Big Black Gorillas with Thompson Guns and Bowler Hats
tied on with twine.
STR 16, DEX 7, WIL
6, 8 hp
They follow Doctor Hogs instructions, but, when separated
from him, are quite stupid.
Thompson Guns
These go BRAKABRAKABRAKA!
Range
|
Damage
|
Effect
|
Very Close
|
d8
|
Blasts through non-modern armour.
|
Medium
|
d6
|
Takes a turn to force the gun on-target. Characters can
leap back into cover.
|
Very Far
|
d4
|
Takes a turn to force the gun on-target. Characters can
leap back into cover.
|
Brain Grenades
Iron Grenades in the shapes of human brains. When they
explode they produce strange mental effects;
Hand-to-Hand
·
The Brain-Apes prefer to pick people up & THROW them into other people – d4
damage to each.
·
They can also SMASH for d6 damage.
·
Or pick someone up and USE THEM AS A CLUB for d6 damage.
Their Terrible Brains
·
Underneath their hats their skulls are cracked open
from inside.
·
A horrid fungus is growing in their brain.
·
Silver ants are running all over the Fungus.
·
The ants themselves are infected with the
Fungus.
·
If a Gorilla dies or its head is smashed, silver
cordyceps ants boil from its mouth, nose, eyes and ears.
·
If the Fungus is seriously damaged, the Ape goes
insane and becomes uncontrollable by anyone.
His Strange Weapons
Dimension-Gun
This ray-gun produces random effects which persist for d4
turns.
d4
|
Effect
|
1
|
Ghost Ray – Target immaterial. WIL test to affect the
world
|
2
|
Jellification Ray – Target jellified. STR test to move
most things.
|
3
|
Shrink Ray – Target 80% smaller.
|
4
|
Gravity Ray – Gravity reversed for the target.
|
Brain Grenades
Hogs grenades work like those of his Apes.
Fungal Clavichord
·
Hogs masterwork. A hideous,
archaically-mechanical combination of clavichord, Babbage engine, brass
syringe-typewriter, silver ant hive, cordyceps fungal reactor and Theremin.
·
Hog uses the strange music of the Clavichord to
control his Brain-Apes.
·
It can send out strands and ropes of silver
Cordyceps Ants like tentacles.
·
He will protect this above even his own life.
·
It’s not clear who is actually in charge, Hog,
or the Machine..
Oh my. How difficult is it for non-gorillas to use the Thompson guns?
ReplyDeleteAnother empty hex in my ASE campaign gains an inhabitant. Cheers.
ReplyDelete"Machiavelli: The Prince" (a multiplayer turn-based trading) computer game kicking about in the mid-90s, had some fun "slanders" in it. The above rants reminded me of these "slanders" an oblique way.
ReplyDeleteA first player could initiate a "slander" of second player and blame a third player for the slander.
The slander would start with "Someone said that [player's name]" ... followed by one of the 40 phases below:
:: LIKES to wear tights.
:: is a REAL pocket fisherman!
:: sleeps with servants!
:: has the manners of a Viking!
:: drinks canal water!
:: coins slanders like a mint.
:: thinks the world is ROUND!
:: is the son of siblings!
:: would sell his Ma for a Fl. [Florin]
:: spreads vicious lies!
:: is a heathen scoundrel!
:: is a rot-eating bastard!
:: is an eater of worms!
:: practices sorcery!
:: is an amoral cad!
:: is a reckless libertine!
:: SUCKS!
:: has a nasty, fishlike smell.
:: is an instrument of Eeevil!
:: is a pestilent knave!
:: is subtle and treacherous!
:: is a pickel brain.
:: is a botchers apprentice!
:: is a pagan Heretic!
:: a muddy mettled rascal.
:: is gross and fat as butter.
:: is heir to a mongrel bitch!
:: is a WITCH! BURN'EM!
:: has hairy palms.
:: is a big goof!
:: is a bubou on a yak's ass!
:: bathes regularly!
:: stuffs his codpiece!
:: is TOO friendly with animals.
:: is a Momma's boy.
:: traffics with Lawyers!
:: is a Genoese bastard.
:: plots betrayal with Turks!
:: traffics with the Deviiil!
:: is a harlot's son!
You probably had to be there!